By Montgomery Burrows,
Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground and Small Mammal Affairs
Questions are beginning to be asked as to whether Tiggy FRCRS, Chester Station’s Chief Rat Catcher and Inspector of Human Behaviour, is losing control as she faces her most challenging period since appointing herself to public office.
Demonstrations on Platform 6 entered a fourth day today, with non-flying mammal groups continuing to question why voting rights in the increasingly protracted Employee of the Week ballot have been extended to flying mammals whilst remaining unavailable to other mammalian species.
Following the resignation of Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), responsibility for managing the demonstrations has temporarily been handed to Buzz, Senior Human Behaviour Analyst, and Toffee, Junior Data Acquisition Officer who, being primarily statisticians, one fears may be woefully under-qualified to manage the situation.
Meanwhile, The Chester Chronicle is in possession of documentation that raises fresh questions regarding the whereabouts of the Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations’ missing Field Operative, who had been tasked with procuring an Avian Translation Expert to assist with communication challenges.
Despite official statements continuing to state that his whereabouts remain unknown, this newspaper has seen an expenses claim which appears to place the operative at The Queen at Chester Hotel.
The claim includes reimbursement for overnight accommodation, an evening meal and operational refreshments.
It remains unclear why overnight accommodation would be considered necessary, given that the operative is widely reported to travel with his own onboard accommodation.
With such seeming collapse into chaos, some observers are beginning to ask: can Tiggy’s famously calm administration survive?
When asked for comment, the Office declined, stating that Tiggy’s scheduled lunchtime nap could not be disturbed.