2.26 Statement from Tiggy

Following a period of questioning in my office, I can confirm that the unidentified individual discovered within the unauthorised excavation has now been identified as:

Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground and Small Mammal Affairs, The Chester Chronicle.

Mr Burrows arrived on station grounds without authorisation and had been conducting an independent investigation into alleged inequalities within current democratic processes.

Documents recovered from Mr Burrows indicate a particular interest in the voting rights of:

🐀 Rats

🕷️ Spiders

🦇 Bats

🐿️ Other non-avian stakeholders

Mr Burrows’ position appears to be that if voting rights have been extended to birds, universal suffrage should be extended to all.

I have thanked Mr Burrows for bringing these matters to my attention and assured him that they will receive appropriate consideration.

Mr Burrows has now been escorted from the building with a warning that if found upon station grounds (above or below surface) again he may be prosecuted for trespassing.

Tiggy 🐾

Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour, Chester Station

FRCRS (Fellow of the Royal College of Rodent Studies)