Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control.
🐌 Following this afternoon’s inaugural flying harness test, Mr Phileas Moss Esq. has retired to The Chester Station Tap to recuperate and compose his own account of events for his flying memoirs. So far, he has ordered a pint and a half of Slow Life Stout, a portion of frickles, and requested that the bar staff bring him additional writing paper.
🦆 Having observed a number of elaborately dressed humans making public proclamations in loud voices, the Duck (you know the one) has, some may say unfortunately, become aware that the World Town Crier Tournament 2026 is currently taking place in Chester. He is understood to be in discussions with the organisers regarding the possibility of taking part as a late wildcard entrant.
🐶 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have completed the first day of their course, “Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace”, at the Institute for Canine Statistical Studies and are now enjoying an evening meal at a local all-you-can-eat meat restaurant. In their excitement to reach the meat, the Department failed to notice the salad bar…all vegetarians and vegans have since been accounted for.
🎁 Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn made an unexpected visit to Chester Station this afternoon, having heard of Tiggy’s recent sick leave. She arrived bearing a hamper of recuperative delicacies and a feline sedan chair. Tiggy feels the chair unnecessary, but nonetheless made grateful noises.
🍬 Alongside continuing construction of the Wee Parasol Cathedral, completing Staff Census forms and auditioning for the Chester Station Synchronised Tap & Parasol Ant Dance Company, the ants have now completed their inventory of the sugar donated during their recent industrial dispute and are drawing up full proposals for the Chester Station Invertebrate Food & Sugar Bank.
The Office wishes all human subjects and creatures a pleasant evening.