Following considerable discussion regarding the question of Socks’ future position within The Office, Tiggy has accepted a recommendation from the Department for Careers & Recruitment that no appointment should be made until the candidate’s particular abilities have been properly established.
Socks will therefore commence a comprehensive programme of aptitude, competency and vocational assessments starting on Monday.
The Department advises that the first stage will consist of Core Aptitude Testing, including (but not limited to), the ability to:
🍗 Extract additional snacks from human subjects
🛏️ Select resting locations of maximum inconvenience to human subjects
📦 Commandeer boxes irrespective of their intended purpose or dimensions
💤 Sleep for prolonged periods regardless of surrounding activity
👂 Follow verbal instructions
😼 Ignore verbal instructions
Further assessments will be determined by the Department as the programme progresses and may include practical, behavioural, administrative and occupational testing.
The Department is unable at this stage to estimate how long the full assessment process will take.
Tiggy has stressed that Socks will be appointed strictly according to aptitude and that her membership of Tiggy’s household will afford her no preferential treatment whatsoever – The Office of Tiggy does not practise nepotism.
Socks has been informed of the assessment programme and is reportedly “excited, but a little nervous.” She is currently, as demonstrated in the attached footage, preparing for Module CA-07: Ability to Play With Absolutely Everything Except the Toys Specifically Purchased for Her.