Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control (at work, if not at home).
🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that 19 of the 645 wee parasols misplaced during Monday night’s celebrations at The Chester Station Tap have now been handed in to Station Lost Property. 626 remain unaccounted for.
⚖️ The precision weights supplied by Wee-Weights R Us have been checked and approved for use. The Staff Census will therefore resume on Platform 5 this morning.
Health & Safety (Ant Division) is reminded that auditions for the newly proposed Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe will commence at noon on the window sill adjacent to the bike storage. Ants wishing to audition must first have completed their Staff Census forms and must bring their own wee parasol.
Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst respectfully requests that members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) waiting to complete the Census do not rehearse their audition routines whilst queuing – ants must remain in order of their official Office Ant No. at all times, as changes in formation significantly increase the risk of mistaken identity.
🐌 Field Operative Phileas Moss is reportedly still in The Chester Station Tap writing his explanation as to why he has returned to Chester Station.
🏠 Finally, Tiggy’s request for additional overtime at Chester Station remains under consideration following the arrival of the small and as yet unnamed new member of her household. Tiggy has not returned home to meet the new arrival, and appears to have no intention of doing so. The Office is grateful for the name and position suggestions, both of which remain under consideration.
Wishing all human and non-human subjects a very pleasant Wednesday.