Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control.
🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) reports a subdued start following last night’s celebrations at @chesterstationtap. During the evening, 645 ants misplaced their wee parasols. If found, human subjects are requested to refrain from using them in cocktails and instead hand them in to Station Lost Property.
🐌 Field Operative Phileas Moss was sighted sliding on the tables with the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Dance Troupe last night. Officials are unclear why his mission brought him back to the station, having previously reached The Deva Tap. Mr Moss has assured the Office he has a perfectly reasonable explanation, which he will provide in writing.
🐕 Officials are preparing a report concerning the duck (you know the one) entering The Carriage Shed and disrupting Toffee’s resit of Module HB&SA-14. The duck reportedly remains in good spirits. Toffee’s result remains pending.
⚖️ Mr Archibald Webber has completed final testing of the replacement precision calibration weights supplied by Wee-Weights R Us. Subject to formal sign-off, the Staff Census will shortly resume.
🛍️ The Department of Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs confirms that the first Official Office of Tiggy Shop orders have been printed and are being prepared for dispatch today. Mr Jeremy Sherwood has completed his inspections and Mrs Jennifer Sherwood has begun packing the first postal consignments.
The Office once again thanks everyone who has supported the launch. 10% of profits from all official merchandise will be donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue. www.tiggythecat.co.uk/shop
🏠 Finally, the Office understands that a small surprise is awaiting Tiggy at home. Whether Tiggy will consider it a nice surprise remains to be seen…
Wishing all human and non-human subjects a very pleasant Tuesday.