The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control.
The Office is delighted to announce that an agreement has now been reached with Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst. Tiggy will make a full statement regarding the outcome in due course (as her snack and nap schedule permits).
The Department for Law & Justice advises that, during questioning over the weekend, the fox at the centre of the recent food poisoning scandal produced what he believed to be a valid Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) together with a certificate stating that he had successfully passed his Food Safety Assessment. Both documents have since been determined to be counterfeit.
The fox states that he was approached by two creatures in white coats claiming to be authorised Food Safety Examiners from the Department for Street Food Regulation, who conducted what he described as “a very official assessment and inspection of equipment” before issuing the documents. The Office is now appealing for any witnesses who may have seen these individuals to come forward.
Any creatures still in possession of “Chicken Nibbles” purchased from the fox are advised not to consume them, but instead to forward them to Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351), Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division), for testing.
The Department for Training & Retraining is pleased to advise that Toffee has successfully completed her practical assessment, “Which Box to Move?” Assessors are satisfied that she is now suitably qualified to distinguish between boxes containing official Office paperwork and unsolicited pamphlets with a satisfactory degree of confidence. Well done, and welcome back to work, Toffee!
The Department for First Aid advises that the millipede involved in the incident involving a box of informational pamphlets, the duck (you know the one) and Toffee continues to make steady progress. Two of his 52 affected legs are now back to full mobility. Physiotherapists remain hopeful that, given enough time and crutches, the remaining 50 legs will follow suit.