The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control.
The Office reminds all creatures that voting remains suspended following Mrs Peckhurst’s resignation. It can also confirm that an incident occurred shortly after 8.30am, necessitating the attendance of the Departments for Law & Justice and Health & Safety (Ant Division) to Platform 5. No further details have been released at this time, however, Toffee has subsequently been relieved of her duties pending mandatory retraining, leaving Buzz to oversee the growing crowds alone. To reiterate, Buzz has neither the ability nor the authority to oversee voting, and no amount of croaking, squawking, squeaking, mewing, barking, hissing or buzzing will change that.
The Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene advises all Office personnel that, following the release of yesterday’s mandatory staff training video, spot checks will be conducted throughout the day to ensure paw hygiene standards are being maintained to Tiggy’s strict standard. Any staff members found to be falling below the standard will be required to undertake additional mandatory training.
The duck (yes… that one) has reportedly ordered another print run of his informational leaflets. Commuters are once again reminded to avoid eye contact with the duck and dispose of any unwanted literature responsibly.
The Office can confirm that Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s position remains unchanged. Her resignation has not been accepted and discussions continue.
Tiggy has now retired to her office with a packet of Dreamies to review several important constitutional matters, and wishes all staff, passengers and creatures a productive morning.