The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control.
Preparations for the forthcoming Office Staff Census continue. All members of staff, regardless of species, title or level of self-importance, are reminded that they will shortly be required to ensure their details are accurately recorded. The Department for Careers & Recruitment continues to seek an unflappable interim employee to oversee the process. Applicants are reminded that applications must be submitted in writing. Territorially-scented CVs will not be accepted.
Voting in the Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended following the resignation of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst. Tiggy has yet to accept the resignation and is still considering her position on the matter.
Buzz and Toffee from the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have been temporarily deployed to Platform 5 to manage the crowds waiting to vote. All creatures are advised that Buzz and Toffee do not have the authority to reopen the ballot and no amount of buzzing, squawking, squeaking, flapping or offers of sausages will change this.
The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that investigations continue into last week’s incident on Platforms 5/6 involving a badger, a vole, two butterflies, a blue tit and a protest placard. In the absence of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s paperwork, any eyewitnesses are requested to come forward.
Station Rat A has commenced his community service with the Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene and is currently cleaning bird droppings from Platform 5. The Department reminds Avian voters that, while it may indeed be amusing to immediately replace any droppings he has just removed, doing so is unhygienic and unsanitary. Repeat offenders will be excluded from voting and issued with an FPPN (Fixed Penalty Pooping Notice).
The Office wishes all passengers, staff and human subjects a happy and productive Monday.