To: Mr Phileas Moss Esq.
One notes that, despite your having departed yesterday at 10.30am aboard your Travelling Trolley for the purpose of undertaking the Morning Patrol, as of 10am this morning (17/09) neither the corresponding Morning Report nor any explanation for its absence has been received.
One appreciates that unexpected circumstances may occasionally arise; however, one expects that, should such circumstances occur, any anticipated delays are communicated in a timely fashion.
Accordingly, please provide:
1. Your present location;
2. Areas inspected;
3. Details of any matters encountered requiring one’s attention;
4. Your anticipated time of completion; and
5. Whether or not all remains broadly under control.
For the avoidance of doubt, the Morning Patrol in question remains that of 16 September 2026.
One awaits your response.
Tiggy
Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour (Self-Appointed)
The Office of Tiggy
Currently conducting Office business from home.