# tiggythecat.co.uk

> The Office of Tiggy - Chester Station Cat


## Posts

- [3.13 Update from the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/update-from-the-department-for-foreign-affairs-international-relations-2/): The Department can confirm that its Field Operative tasked with procuring an Avian Translation Expert has now departed Chester Station and continues to make progress towards the Upton area of Chester. An eyewitness has reportedly observed that the operative is now heading in the direction of the Town Crier with some considerable vigour. GPS signals confirm this report. The Department remains highly satisfied both with progress and with the fortitude and bravery with which the operative is conducting himself. Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations
- [3.12 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-12-morning-update/): Good morning. Tiggy has now completed her first morning inspection and all remains broadly under control. 🕊️ Voting for Employee of the Week continues on Platform 5, and while small flying mammals have now left the protest, crowds of non-flying small mammals, arachnids and insects still continue to gather in considerable numbers (estimated to be in the range of 1 to 1.5 million) on Platform 6. 🦇 Overnight voting arrangements for eligible flying mammals were implemented as scheduled. 📋 The Office has requested a detailed report regarding the aforementioned overnight voting operations, but notes this has not yet been received. The […]
- [3.11 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-11-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. 📰 Montgomery Burrows of The Chester Chronicle today published an article questioning whether Emmeline has forgotten the principles she championed during the campaign to repeal the Avian Representation Act 1996. 🕊️ Emmeline subsequently issued a clarification confirming that she remains fully committed to wider democratic representation, whilst also issuing another reminder that that the Department currently consists of one pigeon. 🌍 The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that its Field Operative continues to make progress towards securing the services of an Avian Translation Expert. 🦇 Following a constitutional […]
- [3.10 Statement from Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-10-statement-from-tiggy/): 📋 STATEMENT FROM TIGGY 📋 Following recent discussion regarding democratic representation, my Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther, and I have completed a thorough review of the relevant legislation, departmental guidance, historical records and the manifesto previously put forward by Avian Affairs during the campaign to repeal the Avian Representation Act 1996. Particular consideration has been given to Emmeline’s battle cry during that campaign: “Two wings, two feet, fly or float, one vote, one vote, one vote!” And the resulting democratic decree that voting rights would be extended to all those with two wings and two feet. Having […]
- [3.09 Clarification from Avian Affairs](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-09-clarification-from-avian-affairs/): 📋 CLARIFICATION FROM AVIAN AFFAIRS 📋 Following media reports regarding the Department’s position on voting reform, Avian Affairs wishes to provide clarification as to its stance. The Department has always been fully supportive of and remains firmly committed to the principle that democratic representation should not be restricted to a privileged few. However, support for representation should not be confused with the ability to administer it. The Department is currently: 🗳️ Administering an active ballot 📨 Responding to voter enquiries 📋 Managing correspondence 🕊️ Assisting foreign avian voters experiencing communication difficulties The Department would therefore like to reiterate its position that […]
- [3.08 Update from the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-08-update-from-the-department-for-foreign-affairs-international-relations/): The Department can confirm that the Field Operative tasked with locating an Avian Translation Expert continues to make progress. Following a period of consultation and diplomatic engagement in The Chester Tap Room, the operative is now exiting Chester Station and advancing towards the Upton area of Chester to investigate reports of an organisation which may have an Avian Translation Expert available to assist with the ongoing communication difficulties on Platform 5. The Department remains cautiously optimistic about progress. The mission continues. Department for Foreign Affairs & International RelationsThe Office of Tiggy 🐾
- [3.07 The Chester Chronicle: Has Emmeline Forgotten Her Roots?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-07-the-chester-chronicle/): By Montgomery Burrows,Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground and Small Mammal Affairs. Serious questions are being asked after remarks from Avian Affairs appeared to call for a delay to further voting reforms at Chester Station. The comments come less than two weeks after Emmeline, now Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), herself emerged as one of the leading voices behind the successful campaign to repeal the Avian Representation Act 1996 and secure voting rights for birds across the station. At the time, Emmeline argued passionately that representation should not be restricted to a privileged few […]
- [3.06 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-06-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed the first inspection rounds of the day and can confirm that all remains broadly under control. Various avian subjects continue to vote on Platform 5 under the watchful eye of Emmeline (despite the continued growth of protesting crowds on Platform 6), and the Foreign Operative from the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reportedly continues onward on his mission to procure an Avian Translation Expert. With no immediate cause for concern, Tiggy has returned to her office for breakfast, a wash and a nap, after which she may, or may not, continue with her constitutional duties. Further […]
- [3.05 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-05-end-of-day-report/): The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. Demonstrations relating to democratic representation amongst non-avian stakeholders continue on Platform 6. Discussions between Tiggy and Luther, Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, remain ongoing. A number of constitutional options are being considered. Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), has formally advised that any expansion of voting operations should not proceed without appropriate administrative support, staffing and infrastructure. The Office continues to receive substantial volumes of correspondence relating to democratic representation and associated constitutional matters. Following a period of rest and recuperation, the […]
- [3.04 Statement from Avian Affairs](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-04-statement-from-avian-affairs/): The Department of Avian Affairs recognises the concerns being raised by non-avian stakeholders occupying Platform 6 and fully supports their right to seek representation within the democratic process. However, the Department respectfully asks that it be acknowledged that it is already under considerable pressure as it administers an active ballot, responds to an increasing volume of correspondence, manages voter enquiries and struggles on without an Avian Translation Expert seemingly even on the horizon, let alone present to assist. Whilst the Department does not oppose the principle of wider representation, it strongly recommends that any expansion of voting rights should not take […]
- [3.03 Emergency Meeting Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-03-emergency-meeting-update/): The meeting between Luther, Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, and Tiggy regarding the ongoing situation in the vicinity of Platforms 5 and 6 remains ongoing with no resolution as yet. The Office can confirm that a number of constitutional options remain under consideration. These include: • Maintaining current voting arrangements. • Establishing a formal consultation process. • Expanding voting operations on Platform 5 to include insect, arachnid and small mammal stakeholders. Luther has advised that whilst the principle of wider representation has merit, the practical implications require careful consideration. The demonstration on Platform 6 remains ongoing. After a […]
- [3.02 Disruption Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/distruption-update/): The Office can confirm that Platform 6 has been temporarily closed due to ongoing demonstrations relating to democratic representation for non-avian stakeholders. Participants are understood to include small mammal, arachnid and insect communities who have put their differences aside and united in their cause. Anthony Smith, representing the six-legged communities, had this to say: “Our voices may be small as individuals, but united they cannot be ignored. We seek only the opportunity to be heard and to participate in the democratic process. If birds can vote, why not all?” The Office respects the right of all stakeholders to express their views. […]
- [3.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning inspection and can confirm that while there is some disruption in the vicinity of Platform 5, all remains broadly under control. The Office continues to receive correspondence regarding democratic representation amongst various non-avian stakeholders. While several parties appear to hold strong views on the matter, Tiggy has determined that there is no immediate reason for concern and has, accordingly, returned to her office for snacks and a snooze. Please proceed with your Monday in an orderly fashion, avoiding the Platform 5/6 areas if possible. The Office of Tiggy
- [2.28 End of Day Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/end-of-day-report-19-06-2026/): The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. An unauthorised excavation was investigated and an unidentified individual discovered therein was subsequently identified as Montgomery Burrows of The Chester Chronicle. Matters relating to democratic representation amongst non-avian stakeholders are now receiving appropriate consideration. The previously missing Foreign Affairs field operative has been located within the Chester Tap Room and is expected to resume duties following a short period of rest and recuperation. Emmeline continues to oversee voting operations and related avian administrative matters. Due to the ongoing situation, the vote for Employee of the Week has been extended until Monday, […]
- [2.27 Update from the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/update-from-the-department-for-foreign-affairs-international-relations/): Following extensive enquiries, correspondence, investigations and many hours spent retracing the operative’s previously reported movements, the Department can now confirm that the missing field operative has been located within the Chester Tap Room, where he is taking a short rest and refreshment break. The Department has reminded the operative of the importance of maintaining a clear distinction between diplomatic outreach and recreational activities. The operative is now taking a short nap. The Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission will recommence just as soon as the operative can be roused. Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations The Office of Tiggy
- [2.26 Statement from Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/statement-from-tiggy/): Following a period of questioning in my office, I can confirm that the unidentified individual discovered within the unauthorised excavation has now been identified as: Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground and Small Mammal Affairs, The Chester Chronicle. Mr Burrows arrived on station grounds without authorisation and had been conducting an independent investigation into alleged inequalities within current democratic processes. Documents recovered from Mr Burrows indicate a particular interest in the voting rights of: Rats Spiders Bats Other non-avian stakeholders Mr Burrows’ position appears to be that if voting rights have been extended to birds, universal suffrage should […]
- [2.25 Joint Statement from the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations and the Department for Underground & Subterranean Affairs](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/joint-statement-from-the-department-for-foreign-affairs-international-relations-and-the-department-for-underground-subterranean-affairs/): Following a joint investigation into reports that a Foreign Affairs field operative may have become involved in an incident near the site of the unauthorised excavation (location classified), both departments can now provide the following update. • The hole has been fully inspected. • The missing field operative was not located within the hole. Whilst the operative remains unaccounted for, the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations notes that the operative is equipped with comprehensive onboard housing facilities and is therefore capable of sustaining extended deployments without undue concern. The Department’s last confirmed information remains that the operative was advancing […]
- [2.24 Statement from Avian Affairs](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/statement-from-avian-affairs/): Following the receipt of numerous enquiries from both within the Office of Tiggy and the wider public, Avian Affairs wishes to clarify the following: • Avian Affairs is not responsible for the whereabouts of field operatives. • Avian Affairs is not responsible for investigative activities occurring beneath station infrastructure. • Avian Affairs is not responsible for toilet facilities or the cleaning of said facilities. • Avian Affairs is not responsible for platform alterations or timetabling issues. Avian Affairs remains committed to supporting fair democratic process and, as such, is completely focussed upon ensuring the vote for Employee of the Week continues […]
- [2.23 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-19-06-2026/): Tiggy has completed the first inspection rounds of the day and can confirm that all remains broadly under control. Various departments continue to undertake various departmental activities. Several reports, memoranda, enquiries, investigations and discussions remain ongoing, but having reviewed the situation Tiggy has determined that her impressive delegation skills mean she has no reason for immediate concern regarding anything whatsoever. Accordingly, she has returned to bed. Human subjects are reminded to keep noise to a minimum
- [2.22 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/end-of-day-report-18-06-2026/): Voting operations on Platform 5 continue under the supervision of Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division). In light of recent events the vote has been extended until 5pm GMT 19 June. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations advises that the Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission remains ongoing despite reports that its field operative is currently MIA. The Department for Underground & Subterranean Affairs is investigating reports that the operative may have become involved in an incident near the site of the unauthorised excavation (location classified). Having reviewed the available information, Tiggy has declared […]
- [2.21 Incident Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/incident-report/): The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that GPS signal with its field operative has been lost. The Department for Underground & Subterranean Affairs is investigating reports that the operative may have become involved in an incident near the site of the unauthorised excavation (location classified). At the present time these reports remain unsubstantiated. Tiggy is in attendance and is personally overseeing the investigation. Updates will be provided as information becomes available. The Office of Tiggy
- [2.20 Internal Memorandum](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum-6/): From: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) Emmeline, The Department acknowledges receipt of your memorandum concerning the Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission. Firstly, the Department would like to thank you for your continued patience, professionalism and constructive engagement throughout this process. We are pleased to confirm that the mission remains active and continues to progress satisfactorily. The assigned field operative remains fully engaged and on task. He has now passed Costa Coffee and is advancing towards the Chester Tap Room with notable vigour. With regard to your […]
- [2.19 Internal Memorandum](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum-5/): From: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) To: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations Sirs/Madams, I am writing to request a further update regarding the Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission. Several days have now elapsed since I was first advised that assistance was being sought. Since that time I have received reports that: • Enquiries into the existence of an organisation located in the Upton area of Chester are ongoing • Progress is being made • Matters are in hand • Updates will be provided in due course/good time • Progress remains satisfactory Whilst […]
- [2.18 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-18-06-2026/): Morning rounds have now been completed. All platforms were inspected – the Department for Hygiene & Cleanliness is requested to dispatch an operative to Platform 5 (Avian voters are reminded that toileting facilities are available in The Carriage Shed adjacent to the station). The Department for Underground & Subterrain Affairs continues its investigation into reports of unauthorised digging activity. Meanwhile, the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that its field operative remains engaged in the Avian Translation Expert Procurement Mission and is making progress at a pace described as “steady”. Having completed her inspection duties, Tiggy has now returned […]
- [2.17 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/end-of-day-report-17-06-2026/): One week into public office, all remains broadly under control. Emmeline continues to oversee voting operations on Platform 5, although translation difficulties remain ongoing. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that its field operative continues to make satisfactory progress towards the Upton area of Chester. The Department for Underground & Subterrain Affairs continues its investigation into reports of unauthorized digging activity. The Department for Calendar Management & Chronological Affairs has concluded its review into a recent dating error. Additional official portraits of Tiggy have been released. Governance has now concluded for the evening.
- [2.16 Amendment](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/amendment/): Following a review by the Department for Calendar Management & Chronological Affairs, the Office of Tiggy can confirm that yesterday’s celebration of one week in public office occurred approximately 24 hours ahead of schedule, and that today is, in fact, the actual one-week anniversary. An investigation has determined that the error occurred due to the departmental secretary experiencing disorientation following an extended departmental nap. In light of this development, the Department has decided to add additional photos to Tiggy’s Official Portrait Series. The Office would like to thank human subjects for their understanding. No further dating errors are anticipated at this […]
- [2.15 Internal Memorandum](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum-4/): To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) From: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations Re: Investigation into Reports of Avian Translation Expertise Further to your request for assistance with locating avian translation experts, the Department can confirm that a field operative was dispatched early yesterday morning and is now en route to the Upton area of Chester. We are pleased to report that his GPS tracking device indicates significant progress has been made – his current position is reported as just approaching Costa Coffee (nearside to the ticket barrier). The Department considers this a […]
- [2.14 Platform 5 Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/platform-5-update/): The Office of Tiggy can confirm that voting operations continue on Platform 5. Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), reports that turnout remains high but that ongoing translation difficulties continue to slow proceedings. Emmeline has requested an update from the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations regarding their investigation into a possible organisation in the Upton area believed to house avian translation experts – the department has assured Emmeline that an update will be issued “all in good time.” Meanwhile, the Department for Underground and Subterrain Affairs continues its investigation into rumours of unauthorized […]
- [2.13 Human Safety Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/human-safety-notice/): The Office of Tiggy can confirm that it has received several reports of unauthorized digging activity around the Platform 5 area. At present the exact nature of the digging is unclear, but we can assure human subjects that the situation is being investigated by Tiggy and the Department for Underground and Subterranean Affairs as a matter of urgency. In the meantime, human subjects are advised to watch their step. Further updates will be provided only as beneficial to the public. Notice issued by the Department of Human Health & Safety on behalf of the Office of Tiggy.
- [2.12 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-17-06-2026/): A routine inspection of the station has been completed. Several human subjects were observed commuting. No correspondence requires immediate attention. Tiggy has therefore retired back to bed to conduct cleaning and sleeping duties. Please keep the noise to a minimum.
- [2.11 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/end-of-day-report-16-06-2026/): One week into public office, all remains broadly under control. Emmeline continues to oversee avian voting operations on Platform 5. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations continues its enquiries into reports of avian translation expertise located somewhere in the Upton area. Tiggy has today unveiled her new collar and released official commemorative portraits. Governance has now concluded for the evening.
- [2.10 Official Announcement - My Official Portrait Series](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-announcement-my-official-portrait-series/): Today marks one week since I opened the Office of Tiggy to the human public. During that time: More than 1,820 human subjects have registered with the Office Multiple departments have been established One democratic election has been attempted… and is ongoing A considerable quantity of correspondence has been generated To mark this auspicious day, I have personally commissioned a new official portrait series of myself, which I am pleased to unveil. I would like to thank my human family for my new collar and tag, and Sophie from the Department for Wardrobe, Styling & Personal Presentation for fitting and styling […]
- [2.09 Official Notice of an Official Announcement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-notice-of-an-official-announcement/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy will be making announcement of some significance later today. Preparations are currently underway
- [2.08 Internal Memorandum - Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum-department-for-foreign-affairs-international-relations/): From: Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) Subject: Electoral Communications – Visiting Avian Voters The Department acknowledges receipt of your memorandum regarding ongoing communication difficulties amongst certain visiting avian voters due to dialect and language differences. The Department can confirm that, at the present time, it has no immediate solution to the matter. However, several human subjects have independently reported the possible existence of a highly respected organisation located in the Upton area which may have experience in such matters. Unfortunately, no contact details are currently held […]
- [2.07 Platform 5 Update - Avian Voting Conditions](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/platform-5-update-avian-voting-conditions/): The Office can confirm that while Platform 5 has reopened to human subjects, conditions remain challenging. Following the extension of voting rights to all birds, attendance has vastly exceeded expectations and significant numbers of avian electoral participants continue to fly in. Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), had this to say. “I would like to reiterate my coo for calm. I also would like to remind all voters that only votes pecked onto official ballot papers shall be counted – cawed votes shall be disregarded. I am at this time also reaching out to the […]
- [2.06 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-16-06-2026/): After a particularly demanding day of governance, constitutional reform and electoral administration yesterday, Tiggy has determined that a lie-in is both reasonable and necessary. The Office remains fully operational. Please keep noise to a minimum.
- [2.05 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/end-of-day-report-15-06/): Following a day involving electoral irregularities, departmental reviews, emergency consultations, platform closures and an unexpectedly high level of avian participation, Tiggy has completed her evening inspection and is satisfied that the situation remains broadly under control. Emmeline continues to oversee avian voting operations. Platform 5 remains under close observation. The Employee of the Week vote remains open until 5pm tomorrow. Luther is thanked for his valued advice. Harley has submitted the appropriate paperwork. Further governance will resume tomorrow. For now, Tiggy wishes all human subjects a pleasant evening.
- [2.04 Departmental Update - Polling Review](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/departmental-update-polling-review/): Following an internal review by the Department for Elections & Governance, the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis wishes to provide an update regarding the Employee of the Week vote. During a routine audit, a discrepancy was identified between the figures provided by the Department and the total number of votes received. Following further investigation, it has been established that votes submitted via Instagram were not included in the recent calculations. The Department wishes to make clear that this omission was entirely accidental and should not be interpreted as bias against Instagram users. As Head of Department, I accept responsibility […]
- [2.03 Service Update - Platform 5](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/service-update-platform-5/): The Office of Tiggy regrets to advise that Platform 5 has been temporarily closed due to the unexpectedly high number of birds in attendance to vote for Employee of the Week since the repeal of the Avian Representation Act of 1996. Following consultation with Luther, Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Tiggy has authorised the temporary closure of Platform 5 in the interests of public safety and electoral integrity. Human subjects are advised to avoid the area whilst representatives from Avian Affairs, Elections & Governance and the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) work to restore normal operations. […]
- [2.02 Internal Memorandum](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum-3/): To: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis From: Department for Elections & Governance CC: Principal Private Secretary to Tiggy Subject: Employee of the Week Election Review Following a review of polling data submitted by the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis, a discrepancy has been identified between the reported vote totals and the number of votes received. Subsequent investigation has established that votes submitted via Instagram were omitted from the recent calculations prepared by Buzz (Senior Human Behaviour Analyst) and Toffee (Junior Data Acquisition Officer) during your absence. The Department for Elections & Governance accepts that […]
- [2.01 Morning Inspection Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-inspection-report/): Following a busy weekend of emergency meetings, avian negotiations and constitutional reform, Tiggy has resumed her regular station patrol duties and reports that all is currently in order. May the calm continue.
- [1.15 Official Announcement - Emergency Avian Suffrage Order](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-announcement-emergency-avian-suffrage-order/): Following an emergency meeting involving the Departments for Avian Affairs, Elections & Governance and Law & Justice, Tiggy has reached a decision regarding the current situation on Platform 5. The Office has been advised by the Department for Historical Research that today marks the 98th anniversary of the death of Emmeline Pankhurst. The Office wishes to make clear that this information, together with recent events involving Emmeline the Pigeon and her supporters, has had absolutely no bearing whatsoever on Tiggy’s decision. Following a thorough review of the constitutional position, Tiggy has repealed the Avian Representation Act 1996 with immediate effect. Voting […]
- [1.14 Official Update - Emmeline the Suffragette Pigeon](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-update-emmeline-the-suffragette-pigeon/): The Office of Tiggy is aware that the situation on Platform 5 has continued to develop overnight. Reports indicate that Emmeline remains attached to the railing and has now been joined by a number of additional avian subjects, including multiple pigeons, two starlings and an overly enthusiastic seagull. The Office has been advised that the gathering does not currently meet the legal definition of an uprising, although the Department for Law & Justice has confirmed that the matter remains under review. In light of recent developments, Tiggy has convened an emergency meeting between the Departments for Avian Affairs, Elections & Governance, […]
- [1.13 Internal Memorandum](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum-2/): The Department for Treats and Snacks is pleased to confirm that Buzz (Senior Human Behaviour Analyst) and Toffee (Junior Data Acquisition Officer) have been awarded sausages in recognition of their weekend overtime work relating to the Employee of the Week election. The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis was recalled outside normal operating hours to assist with polling analysis and voter engagement monitoring. Tiggy recognises both officers for their service and dedication. The Department for Law & Governance would like to remind all staff that sausages remain subject to taxation under the Feline Revenue & Treats Act 2021
- [1.12 Official Statement - Emmeline the Pigeon](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-statement-emmeline-the-pigeon/): The Office of Tiggy is aware that a pigeon named Emmeline is currently on hunger strike and attached to a railing on Platform 5 in protest of the Avian Representation Act 1996. Whilst the Office respects the right of all parties to express their views, it does not make policy decisions in response to demonstrations, protests, petitions, strongly-worded correspondence or pigeons attached to railway infrastructure. No changes to avian voting rights are currently being considered. Further updates will be provided should the situation develop. Tiggy Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour, FRCRS The Office of Tiggy, Chester Station
- [1.11 Interim Polling Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/interim-polling-report/): The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has completed its midpoint review of activity in the Employee of the Week public vote. Current analysis indicates that Becky holds an early lead, whilst both Jakub and Sophie continue to attract meaningful levels of public support. The Department would like to remind all human subjects that voting remains open until 5pm on Sunday 14 June. Cast your vote by commenting on this post: EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK AWARD. Whilst Becky currently leads, the Department would like to advise the Department for Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs that it would be considered premature to […]
- [1.10. Internal Memorandum](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/internal-memorandum/): To: Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis CC: Department for Elections & Governance From: Department for Canine Resources, The Office of Tiggy Subject: Weekend Working Arrangements The Office of Tiggy has become aware that the Employee of the Week public vote has generated significantly greater levels of public engagement than originally anticipated. As a consequence, additional analysis, statistical modelling, trend forecasting, graph production and general speculation may be required throughout the weekend. The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis is therefore requested to make at least two team members available. The Office of Tiggy appreciates that this request is […]
- [1.09 Official Notice of a Public Vote](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-notice-of-a-public-vote/): Following consultation between the Department of Human Excellence and the Department for Elections & Governance, it has been deemed appropriate to call a public vote to determine Employee of the Week for the week ending 12/06. The nominees are as follows: Becky For services to The Office of Tiggy, continued support of station operations, and demonstrating considerable dedication to Tiggy. Becky has worked tirelessly to redeem herself since receiving a written warning due to the ‘Jabba’ incident earlier in the week (JABBAGATE) and Tiggy is satisfied that she has used the lesson to grow professionally. Sophie For services to wardrobe and […]
- [1.08. Update 9.45pm GMT](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/update-12-06-945pm-gmt/): The Office of Tiggy can confirm that multiple attempts have now been made to wake Tiggy in order to have her announce the recipient of this week’s Employee of the Week Award. These attempts have included: • Calling her name. • Opening one eye. • Opening the other eye. • Mentioning dinner. • Mentioning DREAMIES™. • Mentioning dinner and DREAMIES™ simultaneously. Despite these efforts, Tiggy has declined to resume official duties. In light of her continued operational unavailability, and noting the increasing interest shown by human subjects, the Department for Human Excellence has, due to the exceptional circumstances, authorised a formal […]
- [1.07 Employee of the Week Award](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/employee-of-the-week-award/): Following the introduction of the Employee of the Week Award on Friday 13th March 2026, and having retained the title for a record 17 consecutive weeks, Tiggy has reluctantly conceded that it may now be appropriate to open the award to the wider workforce. The Office of Tiggy is therefore pleased to announce this week’s shortlisted nominees: Becky – For general services to The Office of Tiggy. Sophie – For services to wardrobe and feline fashion. Jakub – For services to photography and image management. Tiggy remains unavailable due to her extended operational recovery nap following today’s Platform 7 pigeon incident, […]
- [1.06 Service Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/service-update-12-06-558pm-gmt/): The Office of Tiggy wishes to advise human subjects that Tiggy’s scheduled 6PM Address will be subject to a delay. Following the successful resolution of today’s incident at the latter end of Platform 7, during which two pigeons were apprehended for loitering without Loitering Licences, Tiggy is currently taking an extended afternoon nap. While the Office acknowledges the public’s desire for a timely address, the physical and emotional demands of such operational incidents are not to be underestimated. The Office thanks human subjects for their patience and continued cooperation. It remains unclear as to when Tiggy will resume her official duties. […]
- [1.05 Health & Safety Bulletin 2pm GMT](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/health-safety-bulletin-12-06-2pm-gmt/): The Office of Tiggy, Department of Health & Safety (Ant Division) wishes to advise passengers that an incident has been reported at the latter end of Platform 7. While investigations remain ongoing, the incident is understood to involve at least two pigeons and a concerning disregard for established station protocols. Tiggy is in attendance and currently overseeing investigations. Passengers travelling during the Friday evening rush hour are advised that minor delays and diversions may be in place while the situation is assessed. At this stage there is no cause for alarm, although passengers are reminded not to approach, engage with or […]
- [1.04 The Office Expands](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/the-office-expands/): Due to a significant increase in correspondence and general activity since opening its doors to the public, Tiggy has authorised the appointment of additional staff to assist with Office operations. In the first instance, the newly established Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis will be responsible for monitoring human activity, analysing behavioural trends and counting. The Department will be staffed by (from right to left): Harley — Head of DepartmentBuzz — Senior Human Behaviour AnalystToffee — Junior Data Acquisition Officer The Department for Media & Correspondence will meanwhile assume responsibility for reviewing photographs and other communications received from human subjects. […]
- [1.03 Management is Watching](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/management-is-watching/): Tiggy has today undertaken an unannounced inspection of station operations. No significant concerns have been identified at this stage, although staff and passengers are advised that Tiggy will continue to monitor proceedings closely and appropriate disciplinary action may be taken should any lapses in standards be observed.
- [1.02 Jabbagate](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/jabba-gate/): The Office of Tiggy has been made aware that an esteemed (?) human colleague, Becky Griffiths, has circulated a photograph of Tiggy in which she, undeniably, appears distinctly “Jabbaesque”. Tiggy wishes it to be formally recorded that the photograph was taken mid-digestion following a particularly successful rat-catching operation and should not be regarded as an accurate representation of her usual elegance and poise. Following a brief internal review, Becky has been issued with a written warning. The photograph will nevertheless remain on the public record in the interests of transparency.
- [1.01 The Office of Tiggy Opens to the Human Public](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/hello-start-here/): The Office of Tiggy is pleased to announce that, with effect today, its activities at Chester Railway Station will for the first time be formally reported to the human public. Tiggy has maintained an active presence at Chester Station since moving to Chester in 2025 at the age of six. Before this, she lived in rural East Sussex, where she received a broad early education in fieldcraft, territorial management and the observation of small mammals. Her residence also overlooked a large pond populated by swans, geese and ducks, affording her extensive early experience in avian observation and interspecies relations. Upon her […]
- [7.11 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-11-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has completed its analysis of human subjects’ estimates of their ages. Whilst Tiggy’s age was estimated with remarkable accuracy, humans appear to have a poor ability to guess canine ages. Toffee remains particularly offended, whilst Buzz remains positively elated. The Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene has released a mandatory staff training video of Tiggy demonstrating the paw hygiene standards expected to be maintained by all Office personnel. The Department for Human Behaviour & […]
- [7.10 Mandatory Staff Training](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-10-mandatory-staff-training/): The Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene is pleased to present this short instructional video demonstrating the standard of cleanliness expected of all Office personnel. Some staff members, particularly those within the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis, would do well to pay close attention.
- [7.09 Review of Age Estimates](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-09-review-of-age-estimates/): The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has now completed its review of the recent public estimates regarding the ages of Office personnel, and can now reveal that their ages are: Buzz: 14 years, 11 months (average guess: 8.3) Pepper: 12 years, 6 months (average guess: 7.6) Harley: 8 years, 11 months (average guess: 7.6) Tiggy: 6 years, 11 months (average guess: 6.6) Toffee: 3 years, 8 months (average guess: 6.75) Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the vast quantity of photographic and video evidence available, Tiggy was, on average, correctly identified as being almost seven years of age. Guesses regarding the Canine […]
- [7.08 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-08-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that the second field operative deployed to follow Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq’s trail has now reached Costa Coffee (nearside to the ticket barrier). While there has still been no direct communication from Mr Moss, the Department for Auditing & Financial Compliance reports that it has received another instalment of his expenses report, which is currently being reviewed. Despite repeated announcements that the ballot remains suspended following Mrs Peckhurst’s resignation, large numbers of creatures […]
- [7.07 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-07-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. Preparations for the forthcoming Official Office Staff Census have continued throughout the day. The Office remains optimistic that this simple administrative exercise will pass without incident; however, the Department for Careers & Recruitment is having more difficulty than anticipated identifying an unflappable interim employee to oversee the process. Applicants are reminded that demonstrable previous experience of managing multi-species crowds and paperwork on a platform is a prerequisite. The Department for Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs is delighted by the enthusiasm shown for the […]
- [7.06 Official Office Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-06-official-office-update/): The Office has received a number of enquiries regarding today’s unusually quiet proceedings. As well as giving great consideration to Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s resignation, Tiggy and her Principal Private Secretary have been working hard on the Office’s official branding, which they are pleased to unveil. Tiggy’s Principal Private Secretary has approached this task with her usual combination of enthusiasm, vast amounts of coffee, and absolutely no budget and, accordingly, would like to seek the views of Tiggy’s human subjects. What would you like to see these logos on? Mugs Tote bags T-shirts & Hoodies Notebooks Stickers Aprons Tea towels Pin badges […]
- [7.05 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-05-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has concluded her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control. The Department for Media & Correspondence reminds Human Subjects that unauthorised photography remains unauthorised. Treats must be presented BEFORE filming commences. Failure to comply may result in one of Tiggy’s ‘Death Stares’. The Department for Community Rat Rehabilitation advises that Rat A will shortly resume his court-ordered cleaning duties on Platform 5. Avian voters are once again requested to refrain from depositing additional work for the rat, and are warned that extra wardens from the Department of Fines & Penalties will be on […]
- [7.04 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-04-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. The Department for Media & Correspondence has been made aware of unauthorised filming of Tiggy today. Human Subjects are reminded that the correct procedure requires the offering of treats BEFORE any recording commences. Failure to comply may result in placement upon the Official Office Register of Observed Humans. This applies to all humans, INCLUDING TIGGY’S (SO-CALLED) ‘OWNER’. The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) is still seeking eyewitnesses to the incident involving a badger, a vole, two butterflies, a blue tit […]
- [7.03 Official Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-03-official-notice/): Human Subjects are reminded that Tiggy does not take kindly to being filmed whilst conducting official patrols without her explicit authorisation. A prolonged stare should be interpreted as a formal disciplinary warning and may result in your name being entered into the Official Office Register of Observed Humans.
- [7.02 Update on Platform 5/6 Incident Involving a Badger, a Vole, Two Butterflies, a Blue Tit and a Protest Placard](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-02-update-on-platform-5-6-incident-involving-a-badger-a-vole-two-butterflies-a-blue-tit-and-a-protest-placard/): I can confirm that I have now obtained my first eyewitness statement concerning last week’s incident involving a badger, a vole, two butterflies, a blue tit and a protest placard. The witness, the duck previously involved in the incident concerning two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag, provided the following statement: “I was, at the time, enjoying a most thought-provoking conversation with a businesswoman from Frodsham on the nature of reality when I felt something whoosh by at considerable speed on my left-wing side. My first thought was that it was a missile and so, believing myself […]
- [7.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-01-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. Preparations for the forthcoming Office Staff Census continue. All members of staff, regardless of species, title or level of self-importance, are reminded that they will shortly be required to ensure their details are accurately recorded. The Department for Careers & Recruitment continues to seek an unflappable interim employee to oversee the process. Applicants are reminded that applications must be submitted in writing. Territorially-scented CVs will not be accepted. Voting in the Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended following the […]
- [6.28 Further Archive Footage](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-28-further-archive-footage/)
- [6.27 Archive Footage Released](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-27-archive-footage-released/)
- [6.26 End of Week Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-26-end-of-week-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. 📜 Today Tiggy ruled that all creatures, regardless of flight status, shall be entitled to vote. It is hoped that this decision will bring an end to protests and allow the Employee of the Week ballot (week ending 12 June) to finally reach a satisfactory conclusion. 🕊️ Sadly, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division), has today tendered her resignation. This has not yet been accepted; however, in light of this […]
- [6.25 Letter from Emmeline](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-25-letter-from-emmeline/): Dear Tiggy, It is with considerable sadness that I hereby tender my resignation as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division). When I accepted this appointment, I understood my duties were simply to oversee the Avian and Flying Mammal vote. Instead, over recent weeks I have found myself administering one of the most contentious constitutional ballots in Office history whilst simultaneously managing an increasingly volatile public demonstration, widespread electoral fraud, an ever-expanding electorate, repeated allegations that I have become “flappy”, and a platform which, despite numerous notices, continues to be treated as a public […]
- [6.24 Breaking News by Montgomery Burrows](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-24-breaking-news-by-montgomery-burrows/): Following Tiggy’s landmark ruling, I bring this report directly from Platform 6, where the scenes of jubilation and celebration are reminiscent of those witnessed on 2 July 1928, when women finally secured equal voting rights to men. Marjorie, a Money Spider, has said: “This is not only a victory for all animals and insects; it is a victory for their offspring and for generations to come.” Ah, there’s the duck previously involved in the incident concerning two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag…”Sir, what are your thoughts on the ruling?” “To my mind it demonstrates that, underneath […]
- [6.23 Offical Statement from Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-23-offical-statement-from-tiggy/): Following careful consideration of the formal recommendations submitted by my Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther, I have now reached a decision regarding the definition of “flight” for the purposes of voting eligibility. Numerous proposals were considered, including definitions based upon wings, gliding, ballooning, jumping, floating, involuntary aerial movement and various other methods by which creatures may, from time to time, find themselves separated from the ground. I have concluded that every proposed definition serves only to create further uncertainty. Accordingly, with immediate effect, one shall cease attempting to define “flight”. Instead, I hereby declare that all creatures […]
- [6.22 Email: From Anita Butler to Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-22-email-from-anita-butler-to-mrs-emmeline-peckhurst/): To: Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)From: Anita Butler, Senior Risk Assessment Officer (Ant Division) Following review of the documentation submitted in relation to yesterday’s incident involving a badger, a vole, two butterflies, a blue tit and a protest placard, I regret to advise that the paperwork cannot presently be accepted. The Department has identified the following deficiencies: • Injury Form HSADII-01 has not been completed for the vole. • The two butterflies have been recorded collectively rather than individually. • It is not indicated whether the blue tit was flying, falling […]
- [6.21 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-21-morning-report/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Seasonal Events is delighted to announce that today is FLYING ANT DAY 2026. The Office extends its warmest congratulations to all flying ants and wishes them a safe and enjoyable day. Special good wishes are extended to all colleagues in Health & Safety (Ant Division). The Department for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs confirms that, in consultation with her Independent Senior Adviser, Luther, Tiggy has now reached a decision regarding the definition of flight for the purposes […]
- [6.20 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-20-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs confirms that Tiggy and Luther’s constitutional meeting has now concluded. Formal recommendations have been prepared and will be presented at some point. The Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platforms 5 & 6 remain challenging. According to reports, Miss Emmeline Peckhurst has never been ‘flappier’. The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) reminds all Office personnel that all accidents, injuries and near misses must be reported using the appropriate forms […]
- [6.19 Interim Statement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-19-interim-statement/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy and her Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther, have concluded their meeting. The meeting is understood to have considered a wide range of evidence, including footage of ballooning spiders, gliding mammals, flying fish, and cats falling into swimming pools (the latter being more for light relief than official business). As part of their deliberations, a number of practical flight theories were also tested on Station Rats A & B. The pair have now retired to @chesterstationtap for a working tea and will present their formal findings when they feel like it. Department […]
- [6.18 Statement from Emmeline](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-18-statement-from-emmeline/): To All, I feel it necessary to make a brief statement. For several weeks now I have attempted to discharge my duties as conscientiously and impartially as possible whilst simultaneously administering a ballot and managing what has become an increasingly volatile public demonstration on Platform 6. During that time I have been required to facilitate voting by all types and nationalities of birds and all manner of airborne insects, including flying ants, whose numbers appear to be swelling by the second (despite the official date of Flying Ant Day not yet having been announced). I am also dealing with increasing fraudulent […]
- [6.17 Meeting Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-17-meeting-notice/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now entered into a meeting with her Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters, Luther. Agenda – To determine, once and for all, what constitutes “flight”. Specific points for consideration: 1. Do activities such as gliding, parachuting, ballooning or kiting constitute flight?2. Are there circumstances in which jumping or falling could be considered flight?3. Does involuntary aerial movement (for example, being launched from a placard by a badger) constitute flight?4. Any other business. Department for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs
- [6.16 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-16-morning-report/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance reports that there is growing dissent on Platform 6 between the faction calling for a clearer definition of what is meant by ‘flight’ and the faction maintaining that it is entirely discriminatory for voting eligibility to be based upon aerial abilities at all. A placard bearing the slogan “Let’s See You Fly, Tiggy” was confiscated this morning after two butterflies and a blue tit were injured when a badger used it to launch […]
- [6.15 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-15-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. Following a review by the Department for Internal Reviews & Procedural Oversight, the Department for We Pardon You Tiggy has now concluded that this morning’s trip hazard incident arose as the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding between the Department for Health & Safety and the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division). The matter is now considered closed. Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platforms 5 & 6 remain unsettled. Miss Emmeline Peckhurst continues to oversee proceedings, though […]
- [6.14 Official Statement from The Department for We Pardon You Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-14-official-statement-from-the-department-for-we-pardon-you-tiggy/): The Department for Internal Reviews & Procedural Oversight has concluded its review into the actions of Anita Butler of the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) in relation to today’s trip hazard incident. The review has established that the Department for Health & Safety had, in fact, been working alongside Tiggy in producing the latest instalment of the Office educational series: “What Not To Do At Work” This photograph was intended as the official follow-up to the previous educational bulletin reminding staff that sleeping on the Station Server is to be avoided (https://tinyurl.com/hwy6rxf6). The Department therefore concludes that Tiggy was, […]
- [6.13 Delayed Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-13-delayed-morning-report/): The Office is pleased to report that this morning’s unexpected Health & Safety briefing has now concluded, allowing normal Office operations to resume. Tiggy has now completed her morning patrol and the Office can confirm that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platforms 5 & 6 remain unsettled. Miss Emmeline Peckhurst continues to oversee proceedings with admirable determination, though observers note she is becoming ever more ‘flappy’. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. continues his journey towards the Upton area in […]
- [6.12 Update from Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-12-update-from-department-for-health-safety-ant-division/): Firstly, I would like to personally apologise for the delay to today’s Morning Report. This is due to my requirement that Tiggy attend an urgent Health & Safety briefing. The briefing will cover a number of important workplace safety topics, including (but not limited to): • Why lying spread-eagle on a busy station concourse is to be discouraged.• The importance of keeping station thoroughfares free from obstruction.• Appropriate and inappropriate locations in which to conduct official Office business. I would like to thank human subjects for their continued patience. However, I am sure all can fully appreciate that, regardless of position, […]
- [6.11 Emergency Health & Safety Bulletin](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-11-emergency-health-safety-bulletin/): Commuters are advised to exercise caution as they navigate Chester Station this morning due to a Tiggy-shaped trip hazard on the station concourse.
- [6.10 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-10-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. Station Rats A and B have begun serving their respective sentences for manufacturing fraudulent ID cards and coercing Bat Moths to vote in an attempt to undermine both the democratic process and Tiggy herself. The Office extends its hearty congratulations to Tiggy for bringing the case to such a successful and satisfactory conclusion. The Department for Elections & Governance reports that conditions on Platforms 5 & 6 are becoming increasingly chaotic and hazardous. Human subjects are advised to avoid the area. […]
- [6.09 Official Statement: Station Rats](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-09-official-statement-station-rats/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now concluded her interview with Station Rat A and reached the following conclusions: Both Station Rats A and B were well aware that they had absolutely no authority or remit to manufacture ID cards. As such, the cards issued to the Bat Moths were illegal and invalid. Furthermore, they had no authority to install lighting within the station and were additionally acting unlawfully in identifying themselves as “lighting engineers”. The sole purpose of their actions was not, as the rats maintained, to assist the Bat Moths in exercising their constitutional right to vote, but […]
- [6.08 Health & Safety Bulletin Ref: HSA/14351/TOT/002](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-08-health-safety-bulletin-ref-hsa-14351-tot-002/): On behalf of the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division), I have now concluded my investigation into the recent manufacture of fraudulent identification cards using a laminator and have determined that, in doing so (quite aside from any criminal activity), Station Rats A and B breached the following Office Health & Safety Regulations: ❌ Operation of a laminator without a valid Small Office Equipment Operator Licence. ❌ Failure to wear tail protection whilst laminating. ❌ Failure to complete Form HS-14 (“Notification of Intent to Laminate”). ❌ Failure to maintain possession of the laminator at all times. These represent serious breaches […]
- [6.07 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-07-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. The Office is pleased to confirm that following overnight operations, Station Rat A has been successfully apprehended by Tiggy and is now in custody. The rat is currently assisting with enquiries into how Bat Moths were enticed into the station and came to be in possession of ID cards. Health & Safety (Ant Division) are also investigating what regulations may have been breached during the production of said cards. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that voting for Employee of the Week […]
- [6.06 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-06-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that voting for Employee of the Week continues despite both the increasingly vocal and disordered demonstrations on Platform 6, and Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s reported deep disappointment in the whole of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis following the Head of Department’s suggestion that she undertake additional management training. Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground & Small Mammal Affairs for The Chester Chronicle, has been escorted from the station following […]
- [6.05 Archive Footage Released](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-05-archive-footage-released/): The Department for Historical Research has today authorised the release of this recently recovered archival footage of Tiggy. The Department wishes to stress that this footage is shared solely for its historical significance and is in no way intended to overload the public with cuteness in an attempt to distract them from the recent difficult questions raised by Montgomery Burrows. The Office of Tiggy
- [6.04 Can you fly Tiggy?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-04-can-you-fly-tiggy/): Discontent and disorder are growing on Platform 6 as increasingly vocal and divided crowds protest Tiggy’s recent ruling that “all flying creatures possessing two or more feet” are eligible to vote in the Employee of the Week ballot. Whilst the ruling resolved the question as to whether moths and other winged creatures can vote, it appears to have created an entirely new debate, namely: What, precisely, constitutes flying? Disquiet is now turning directly towards the once celebrated Suffrage Pigeon, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst (whose campaigning originally secured voting rights for birds), as she has now been heard repeatedly squawking, “No wings, no […]
- [6.03 To: Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-03-to-mrs-emmeline-peckhurst-interim-assistant-deputy-acting-head-of-avian-affairs-flying-mammals-platform-5-6-division/): From: Harley, Head of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical AnalysisCC: Department for Elections & Governance; Department for Canine Resources Dear Mrs Peckhurst, Thank you for your correspondence regarding the temporary deployment of Senior Human Behaviour Analysts Buzz and Junior Data Acquisition Officer Toffee to assist you over the weekend. I must confess to having read your account with some surprise. As I write this, Buzz and Toffee are sitting opposite me working diligently and with the utmost professionalism, making it somewhat difficult to reconcile the officers before me with those described in your email. May I therefore enquire, with […]
- [6.02 To: Harley, Head of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-02-to-harley-head-of-the-department-for-human-behaviour-statistical-analysis/): From: Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division)CC: Department for Elections & Governance; Department for Canine Resources Dear Harley, Firstly, may I express my sincere thanks for so promptly dispatching Buzz and Toffee to assist me with Employee of the Week voting over the weekend. However, I regret to inform you that their professionalism was not of the standard one might reasonably expect. Buzz seemed rather more intent on intimidating a family of squirrels protesting on Platform 6 than handing out ballot papers. When I questioned her on the matter, she […]
- [6.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/6-01-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues overseeing voting for Employee of the Week. Following a brief period during which she became somewhat ‘flappy’, assistance was drafted in from the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis. Unfortunately, in their exuberance to assist, Buzz and Toffee managed to increase rather than decrease Emmeline’s ‘flappiness’, hence they were (at Emmeline’s request) sent back to the racecourse to “relieve themselves of their silliness”. Station Rat B remains in custody whilst Station Rat A remains at large. […]
- [5.26 Temporary Weekend Counting Assistance](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-26-temporary-weekend-counting-assistance/): To: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical AnalysisFrom: Department for Elections & GovernanceCC: Department for Canine ResourcesSubject: Temporary Weekend Counting Assistance Dear Harley, Whilst Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues to manage the vote on Platform 5, the Office has received reports from multiple voters that she has become somewhat ‘flappy’. In order to pre-empt any further (or indeed increased) ‘flappiness’, the assistance of your department is therefore requested forthwith. Accordingly, please dispatch two suitably qualified members of staff to Platform 5 to assist Mrs Peckhurst with vote counting. The Office thanks the Department for its continued flexibility and willingness […]
- [5.25 Weekend Voting - Statement from Avian Affairs](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/weekend-voting-statement-from-avian-affairs/): May I first thank the overwhelming majority of you for your continued patience and good humour. Voting continues at a steady pace and I remain fully committed to ensuring that every constitutionally eligible flying creature has the opportunity to cast their vote. May I, however, respectfully remind all voters of the following: ● Please join the queue at the rear and refrain from swarming. ● Please have your ballot paper and ID ready. ● Please have your preferred candidate (Becky, Sophie or Jakub) in mind before reaching the head of the queue. The ballot box itself is not a place for […]
- [5.24 End of Week Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-24-end-of-week-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her final patrol of the working week and that matters once again remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that voting has continued peacefully throughout the day following yesterday’s constitutional clarification. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has kindly agreed to work over the weekend to keep voting operations moving. Thank you, Emmeline! It is confirmed that Station Rat B remains in custody pending further enquiries and the testimony of Station Rat A. It is further confirmed that the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) is investigating what health and safety […]
- [5.23 Investigation Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-23-investigation-update/): The Office can confirm that further interviews have now taken place with Station Rat B regarding the possession and operation of a lamination machine. During questioning, it was established that Station Rat B purchased the item from Small Office World along with a torch and a pack of 10,000 lanyards (size XXXXXS). The machine was subsequently used to laminate identity documents for Bat Moths. Whilst yesterday’s constitutional ruling confirms that Bat Moths are constitutionally eligible to vote, this does not exonerate the rats from producing false identification documents, nor Bat Moths from presenting them. Additionally, the Office has, as yet, seen […]
- [5.22 We Pardon You Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-22-we-pardon-you-tiggy/): Following a brief review of the following photographic evidence, the Department for Pardoning Tiggy has issued this statement. It is accepted that, after an exceptionally busy week of constitutional crises, difficult legislative decisions and rodent interviews, Tiggy was simply experiencing “that Friday feeling.” Accordingly, Tiggy has been granted a full pardon. No further action will be taken. The Department for We Pardon You Tiggy.
- [5.21 To the Esteemed Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-21-to-the-esteemed-department-of-auditing-financial-compliance/): Having returned refreshed from my comfort break, I shall endeavour to provide the information requested. Now, where was one? Ah, yes…the summer of my birth. So, it was just as the evenings were drawing in – the first crisp, burnished copper and amber leaves could be seen carelessly strewn across the sun-parched lawns of Grosvenor Park; blackbirds (Turdus merula) and badgers (Meles meles) could be heard quarrelling over the last of the blackberries; and the weary but fragrant final blooms of the hardy geraniums (Crane’s-bill) and daylilies (Hemerocallis) were making way for the Michaelmas daisies (asters) and autumn crocuses (Colchicum) – […]
- [5.20 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-20-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and the Office is pleased to report that matters remain broadly under control. Tiggy cornered and took Station Rat B in for questioning regarding his lamination machine at 2.30am this morning. He remains in custody pending further enquiries. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that, after a slow start due to a confused colony of bees who mistakenly believed they were themselves to enter the ballot box, voting in the Employee of the Week ballot is now underway. Mrs Peckhurst reports that, whilst queues were initially in excess of the high millions and growing […]
- [5.19 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-19-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. Following today’s constitutional ruling, voting in the Employee of the Week ballot has now recommenced. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst is reported to be making good progress with ballot papers, despite expressing understandable concern regarding the sudden and huge increase in the number of eligible voters. The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations has advised the Department for Auditing & Financial Compliance that Field Operative Phileas Moss has almost completed page 2 of his statement regarding recent expenditure and will be submitting […]
- [5.18 Update on Mission to Procure Translation Experts](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-18-update-on-mission-to-procure-translation-experts/): The Department confirms receipt of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s request for additional linguistic support following today’s constitutional ruling extending voting rights to all eligible flying creatures. Following discussions, the Department remains confident that both an Avian Translation Expert and an Insect Translation Expert can be procured from the organisation in Upton. Accordingly, Field Operative Phileas Moss has been instructed to complete the current sentence he is writing in his statement regarding recent expenditure and immediately recommence his mission. The Department appreciates that the delay to the expenditure report may prove frustrating to the Department for Auditing & Financial Compliance but considers the […]
- [5.17 Statement from Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-17-statement-from-mrs-emmeline-peckhurst/): Firstly, may I thank Tiggy for providing much-needed constitutional clarity. Whilst one appreciates that the extension of voting rights to all eligible flying creatures is undoubtedly a triumph for democracy, I would like to respectfully point out that I remain one pigeon. As Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division), I was already managing the Employee of the Week ballot, overseeing demonstrations on Platform 6 and attempting to distinguish between bats and moths. I must now additionally facilitate the vote for potentially millions of newly enfranchised insects, and that’s without considering the fact that […]
- [5.16 Statement from Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-16-statement-from-tiggy/): One can now confirm that, having carefully considered the full wording of the relevant constitutional documents and following consultation with Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Affairs, Luther, one has determined that the guiding constitutional principle as to voting eligibility is best summarised by Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s now well-known battle cry: “Two wings, two feet, fly or float, one vote, one vote, one vote.” Accordingly, I hereby rule that all flying creatures possessing two or more feet are constitutionally eligible to participate in the Employee of the Week ballot. Voting shall recommence on Platform 5 for all those eligible with […]
- [5.15 Voting Investigation Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-15-voting-investigation-update/): The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that preliminary enquiries have established that “Bat Moth” is a recognised colloquial name for the Black Witch Moth (Ascalapha odorata), a large species of moth with a wingspan of up to 7 inches, so named as it is frequently mistaken for a bat due to its appearance. The Department understands that the species is found throughout parts of North, Central and South America, so how a group of them came to be voting in the Employee of the Week ballot at Chester Station is another question for consideration. Tiggy is currently meeting with Independent […]
- [5.14 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-14-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance continues its investigation into moths voting as bats in the Employee of the Week ballot. Voting remains suspended. Demonstrator numbers on Platform 6 continue to swell. To aid in the peaceful running of the protest, all participants are politely reminded that eating fellow protestors is strictly forbidden regardless of species or size – all biting, fighting and carnivore feeding rights must be relinquished both on Platform 6 and within a 20 metre radius of the area (in […]
- [5.13 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-13-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms receipt of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s statement regarding her acceptance of votes from moths in the currently suspended Employee of the Week vote. The statement has been entered into the official record and will be considered alongside all other evidence. The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis confirms that Toffee has now completed her resit of Module 22a, Section 6 (“How to Ensure You Are Counting the Correct Ballot Papers”). Her paper has been […]
- [5.12 Statement from Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-12-statement-from-mrs-emmeline-peckhurst/): I have been asked by the Department for Elections & Governance to clarify the circumstances surrounding my acceptance of votes from certain participants in the currently suspended Employee of the Week vote. Having now reviewed my notes, I can confirm that I did indeed allow a group of moths to vote. However, in my defence, the individuals in question bore a striking resemblance to bats and were additionally carrying ID cards identifying them as “Bat Moths”. In the circumstances, I had no reason to doubt their eligibility. Furthermore, as one pigeon responsible for running a highly attended ballot whilst simultaneously overseeing […]
- [001: The Employee of the Week Vote](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/employee-of-the-week-vote/): A chronological overview of the events and current status of the ongoing Employee of the Week ballot. 
- [5.11 Health & Safety Bulletin](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-11-health-safety-bulletin/): Reference: HSA/145636/GRG/001 Following a full review of the Department for Treats & Snacks Incident Report (Ref: DTS/GRG/001), I have now completed a Health & Safety assessment of the incident involving two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag. Discarded food packaging presents numerous hazards, particularly given the huge number of small mammals, insects and arachnids currently congregating to protest on Platform 6. These risks include (but are not limited to): • entrapment and possible suffocation • choking • cuts and other injuries • ingestion of harmful materials (for example, had the aforementioned Greggs bag contained bread, the duck […]
- [5.10 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-10-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that everything remains broadly under control. Station Rat A and Station Rat B have now been released and are understood to have joined protests on Platform 6 calling for all animals to be given the vote in the currently suspended Employee of the Week vote. The Department for Elections & Governance continues to investigate the identity of the “constitutionally eligible group” referred to by the rats during their interviews. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Head of Public Demonstrations & Constitutional Affairs, remains on Platform 6, where demonstrator numbers continue to […]
- [5.09 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-09-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has completed its reconciliation of the Flying Mammal voting figures. An earlier statistical error has now been corrected and the proportion of ballots cast by moths confirmed as 7.7%. Junior Data Acquisition Officer Toffee has voluntarily agreed to undertake further statistical training. Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher (FRCRS), has now completed separate interviews with Station Rat A and Station Rat B. Whilst both admitted operating the illumination observed during the Flying Mammal vote, neither […]
- [5.08 Interview Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-08-interview-update/): Reference: DEG/INT/004 The Office can confirm that Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher (FRCRS), has now conducted separate interviews with Station Rat A and Station Rat B, observed by representatives from the Department for Law & Justice. Both individuals admitted operating the illumination observed during the Flying Mammal voting in the Employee of the Week ballot. When asked by Tiggy about the purpose of the light, both individuals stated that the illumination had been provided to alert what they each described as “a constitutionally eligible group” travelling through Chester Station to the existence of the ballot. The Department notes that, despite being interviewed […]
- [5.07 Statistical Analysis Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-07-statistical-analysis-update/): Reference: DHBSA/FM/002 The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has now completed a full reconciliation of the preliminary Flying Mammal voting figures in the Employee of the Week Vote (week ending 12/06). Firstly, the Department wishes to correct an earlier estimate suggesting that as many as 64.7% of Flying Mammal votes may have been cast by moths. This has been confirmed as wildly incorrect. The discrepancy arose after Toffee (Junior Data Acquisition Officer) inadvertently included ballot papers from the separate Station Lighting & Illumination Satisfaction Survey, in which moth participation was, perhaps unsurprisingly, high. I have personally spoken to Toffee […]
- [5.06 Incident Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-06-incident-report/): Ref: DTS/GRG/001 Following interviews and review of CCTV footage, the Department for Treats & Snacks has now established the facts and concluded its investigation into yesterday’s reported altercation on Platform 6 involving two seagulls, a squirrel, a duck and a discarded Greggs bag. In the words of the duck (who has requested anonymity): “At 14:37, I spotted a discarded Greggs bag blowing down Platform 6. Being a great gastronome and so, of course, a huge admirer of Greggs, I dived towards it with gusto in the hope that it might contain the crumbs of the chain’s new Chicken Roll, which I […]
- [5.05 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-05-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that Station Rat A and Station Rat B remain in custody and continue to assist investigators regarding the mysterious moth-attracting illumination observed during the Employee of the Week ballot. The ballot remains suspended. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division), continues to oversee demonstrations calling for voting rights to be extended to all creatures. The Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division) has now completed […]
- [5.04 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-04-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that matters once again remain broadly under control. The unidentified “Lighting Engineers” sought in connection with the mysterious moth-attracting illumination observed during the Employee of the Week ballot have now been apprehended by Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher (FRCRS). The individuals, currently known only as Station Rat A and Station Rat B, continue to assist the Department for Elections & Governance and the Department for Law & Justice with their enquiries. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst remains in post as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs […]
- [5.03 The Cat Warmer](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-03-the-cat-warmer/): In a departure from her usual “lead by example” management style, Tiggy has this afternoon demonstrated precisely what not to do. Staff, passengers and Tiggy are kindly reminded that the below notice applies equally to animals and humans. Department for the Preservation of Technology & Digital Infrastructure
- [5.02 Suspects Apprehended](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-02-suspects-apprehended/): The Office can confirm that, following a brief pursuit through the station this morning, Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher (FRCRS), has successfully apprehended the unidentified rodents previously describing themselves as “Lighting Engineers”. The individuals concerned, now officially identified as Station Rats, are currently assisting the Department for Elections & Governance and the Department for Law & Justice with their enquiries regarding the moth-attracting illumination observed during the Employee of the Week ballot. The Office reminds all human subjects that no conclusions have yet been reached and that even vermin deserve a fair hearing. Tiggy has completed a lap of honour around the […]
- [5.01 Monday Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/5-01-monday-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting for Employee of the Week (Week Ending 12/06) remains ongoing. Preliminary findings indicate that as many as 37.5% of votes may have been cast by moths rather than flying mammals. Voting remains suspended. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division), continues to assist the investigation whilst overseeing demonstrations calling for voting rights to be extended to all […]
- [4.20 End of Week Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/end-of-week-report/): Tiggy has now completed her end of week patrol and is pleased to confirm that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance has taken note of today’s report by Montgomery Burrows in The Chester Chronicle concerning the potential coercion of moths in the Employee of the Week ballot. The original investigation relating to moths voting as flying mammals remains ongoing. The Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance confirms receipt of the first instalment of Field Operative Philias Moss Esq.’s explanation regarding recent expenditure. It is hoped that his “comfort break” will support rather better focus […]
- [4.19 Did you see the light?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/did-you-see-the-light/): By Montgomery BurrowsSenior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground & Small Mammal Affairs Questions surrounding the currently suspended Employee of the Week ballot at Chester Station intensified today after an investigation by The Chester Chronicle uncovered evidence suggesting that the moths at the centre of the ongoing constitutional inquiry may not have been acting of their own free will. Over the past several days, this newspaper has spoken with numerous small mammals, arachnids and insects currently protesting on Platform 6 in support of extending the vote to all creatures. Multiple eyewitnesses have independently reported an unusually bright light being emitted from […]
- [4.18 Expense Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/expense-report/): To the Esteemed Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance, I write with regard to expenditure incurred during my present assignment to procure an Avian Translation Expert from an organisation believed to be operating in the Upton district of this fine city of Chester or, as the Romans knew it, Deva Victrix (a title derived from the nearby River Dee and the victorious Twentieth Legion). Indeed, whilst being a much-travelled individual, this most stunning and historic city is, I am proud to note, the city of my birth, which was (one rather creakily admits) some years ago now… It was an unusually […]
- [4.17 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-3/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. Voting in the Employee of the Week ballot remains suspended while the Department for Elections & Governance continues its constitutional review. The Office would like to remind all interested parties that investigations will not be sped up by questions or speculation. Administrative matters shall, and shall always, proceed at the speed they proceed. The Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has confirmed that Pepper’s tennis ball is now in the care of the Department for Sporting & Recreational Equipment, where it will […]
- [4.16 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that matters once again remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance continues its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting. The Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended pending the conclusion of these enquiries. Following Tiggy’s intervention this afternoon, the Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis has now concluded its practical testing exercise and returned to normal duties. Form REC-14 has since been received by the Office. The Lost Property Office has today been commended for the successful recovery and return of Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA’s tennis ball. The Department of Foreign Affairs […]
- [4.15 Official Notice From Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-15-official-notice-from-tiggy/): I have just seen Harley’s statement regarding the ongoing “practical testing” of Pepper’s recently recovered tennis ball. Whilst I am naturally delighted that Pepper has been reunited with her favourite ball, I would like to remind Harley that the Office is presently dealing with a constitutional matter of considerable importance, making “practical testing” during office hours entirely unacceptable. I further note that Form REC-14 (Departmental Recreational Activity Notification) was not submitted prior to the full Department’s relocation to Chester Racecourse. I therefore must insist that the current game of fetch is concluded, the necessary paperwork completed retrospectively, and that all members […]
- [4.14 Statement from the Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/statement-from-the-department-of-human-behaviour-statistical-analysis/): The Department wishes to place on record its sincere thanks to the Lost Property Office for the successful recovery of Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA’s tennis ball. Following its return, it was unanimously agreed that the item should undergo a short period of practical testing to verify that it remains fit for purpose. This testing has, regrettably, developed into an extended departmental game of fetch at Chester Racecourse which is still ongoing. Publication of the Department’s statistical report will therefore be delayed. I have also granted Toffee permission to postpone the resit of Module 2 (Tick or Fly) of the mandatory PA […]
- [4.13 Lost Property Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-13-lost-property-update/): The Lost Property Office is delighted to announce that it has this morning reunited Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA with her misplaced tennis ball. The ball was recovered from the River Dee by a passing swan who kindly handed it in. While there was at first some question as to whether the ball belonged to a rail passenger (a Pincer Cross travelling from Manchester), Pepper was happily able to establish lawful ownership by identifying a small V-shaped tear in the outer covering and by producing extensive photographic evidence of herself in possession of the item on numerous previous occasions. The Lost Property […]
- [4.12 Field Operative Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-12-field-operative-update/): The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations can confirm that Field Operative Philieas Moss has made satisfactory progress, having now reached the Town Crier pub, where his mission has been temporarily paused in order that he may complete the paperwork requested by the Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance in respect of his recent expenditure. One understands this pause in proceedings may prove of some frustration to Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst. However, with the vote currently suspended, the Department agrees with Philieas that now seems a most opportune time to complete paperwork. The Department thanks Mrs Peckhurst for her continued patience. […]
- [4.11 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-11-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance continues its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting. The Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended pending the conclusion of these enquiries. While the vote is suspended, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has resumed her duties on Platform 6 where protests to extend the Employee of the Week vote (should it recommence) to all mammals, arachnids, and insects continue. Reports indicate that at least seven demonstrators have laid eggs in a discarded apple core, so numbers are expected […]
- [4.10 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-10-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. The Department for Elections & Governance continues its investigation into weekend Flying Mammal voting. The Employee of the Week ballot remains suspended pending the outcome of those enquiries. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s statement has been received by the Office and noted. The Department’s investigation continues. Demonstrations on Platform 6 remain ongoing. Following Toffee’s temporary withdrawal for emergency flea treatment, Buzz has continued crowd management duties without significant incident. The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations confirms that field operative, Philieas Moss, has been asked to provide clarification regarding certain expenditure incurred […]
- [4.09 Statement from Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-09-statement-from-mrs-emmeline-peckhurst/): The Office has authorised publication of the following statement submitted by Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division). To all those who have written expressing concern, I wish to assure the public that I remain fully committed to assisting the Department for Elections & Governance with its enquiries. I have always sought to administer polling arrangements fairly, diligently and without prejudice to species, nationality, migratory status or preferred nesting location. Should it be determined that a procedural error has occurred, I shall naturally accept whatever recommendations are made by the […]
- [4.08 Request for Clarification of Expenditure](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/request-for-clarification-of-expenditure/): TO: Philieas Moss, Esq.POSITION: Field OperativeDEPARTMENT: Foreign Affairs & International RelationsMISSION: Procurement of an Avian Translation Expert Following a routine examination of expense claim FA/2026/117B, the Department respectfully requests further clarification in respect of the following expenditure incurred during the above mission. Please provide a written explanation for each item listed below, together with any supporting information considered relevant. Steak & Ale Pie with Frickles (side) @ The Chester Station Tap Room – £21.50 Four Pints of Slow Life Stout @ The Chester Station Tap – £24.80 One Night (Executive room incl. breakfast) @ The Queen at Chester Hotel – £151.00 […]
- [4.07 Platform 6 Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-07-platform-6-update/): The Office can confirm that Toffee has been temporarily relieved of her crowd management duties on Platform 6 following an examination by the Department for Health & Wellbeing. Whilst initially believed to have been the result of unusually aggressive fleas attending the demonstration, the Department has now concluded that the “very bity” fleas to which Toffee earlier referred were not, in fact, among the protesters, but had accompanied her to work. Toffee has accordingly been granted authorised leave in order to undergo emergency flea treatment. Buzz has assured the Office that, whilst managing the demonstration alone presents certain logistical challenges, she […]
- [4.06 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-2/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her routine morning patrols and is happy to report that all remains broadly under control. Voting in the Employee of the Week ballot remains temporarily suspended whilst the Department for Elections & Governance conducts an investigation into reports that moths have been allowed to cast votes under the ‘Bat’ (Flying Mammal) demographic. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammal Affairs (Platform 5/6 Division), is assisting the Department for Elections & Governance with its enquiries into the above matter. The Office once again respectfully requests that subjects […]
- [4.05 STATEMENT REGARDING FLYING MAMMAL VOTING ANALYSIS](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/statement-regarding-flying-mammal-voting-analysis/): The Office confirms receipt of Harley’s memorandum in respect of the Department’s interim findings regarding weekend flying mammal voting in the Employee of the Week ballot and considers the allegations to be sufficiently serious to warrant a full investigation. Accordingly, Employee of the Week voting has been suspended with immediate effect pending a full review of the integrity of the ballot. The Office wishes to make clear that this decision should not be interpreted as criticism of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst. Nevertheless, confidence in the democratic process must remain paramount. The Office appreciates that this temporary suspension may prove disappointing to eligible […]
- [4.04 URGENT MEMORANDUM](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-04-urgent-memorandum/): To: Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human BehaviourFrom: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical AnalysisSubject: Interim Findings – Flying Mammal Voting Analysis Dear Tiggy, Whilst Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA continues finalising the Department’s comprehensive statistical report, I believe it necessary to bring this matter to your direct attention. Preliminary analysis indicates that a number of individuals who successfully cast votes for Employee of the Week over the weekend have subsequently been identified as moths rather than bats. Although the investigation remains ongoing, the Department considers these findings sufficiently significant to warrant immediate escalation. At present, it […]
- [4.03 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-03-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her routine morning patrols and that all remains broadly under control. Following yesterday’s opening of the Official Office Archives, human subjects are reminded that whilst current governance continues on Facebook, historical records are now available for review at https://www.tiggythecat.co.uk. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues overseeing Employee of the Week voting on Platform 5 in her capacity as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division). Voters are once again reminded that PLATFORM 5 HAS NO AVIAN TOILETING FACILITIES – AVIANS SHOULD MAKE APPROPRIATE ARRANGEMENTS TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES BEFORE […]
- [4.02 Official Announcement: The Archive is Open.](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/4-02-official-announcement-the-archive-is-open/): Dear Human Subjects, As the Office has grown, I have become increasingly aware that it can be difficult for new arrivals (and indeed, sometimes earlier supporters) to understand precisely how we reached our current position. I therefore instructed my Department of Archives & Historical Records to complete a full catalogue of the Office’s official records and make them available for public consultation. Accordingly, the Official Office Archives are now open. Human subjects may now consult the Official Office Archives to review: • Official announcements • Historical proceedings • Government departments • Office personnel • The complete chronological record of my time […]
- [4.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-28-morning-report/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her routine morning patrols and that all remains broadly under control. Having cleared the backlog of voters over the weekend, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues overseeing Employee of the Week voting on Platform 5 in her capacity as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division). To avoid hold-ups, birds and flying mammals are reminded to have their ID ready for inspection when they reach the beginning of the queue for the ballot box. Demonstrations on Platform 6 continue, with reports that the total number of protesters (insects, […]
- [3.27 End of Week Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-27-end-of-week-report/): The Office can confirm that matters are once again broadly under control. 🕊️ Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has accepted her promotion from Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) to Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division). Accordingly, voting operations on Platform 5 have resumed, whilst order has been restored on Platform 6. 🌍 The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations has successfully located its previously missing Field Operative. The mission to procure an Avian Translation Expert remains active. Matters relating to the operative’s expense claim have been referred to […]
- [3.26 Official Announcement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-announcement-326/): Following careful consideration and in recognition of her outstanding service during the recent constitutional challenges affecting Platforms 5 and 6, Tiggy is pleased to announce Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s immediate promotion from Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) to: Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division) This promotion reflects Tiggy’s confidence in Mrs Peckhurst’s professionalism, dedication and steadfast commitment to public service, and also recognises the additional duties she has taken on. Her new remuneration package includes: 🪶 A 2.9% salary increase (0.1% above inflation) 🪶 An additional 0.5 days […]
- [3.25 Update from the Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-25-update-from-the-department-of-foreign-affairs-international-relations/): The Department is pleased to confirm that its missing Field Operative has been located at The Queen at Chester Hotel after being diverted from his intended route by an unexpected aerial incident. Although currently described as being in a somewhat delicate condition, the operative is now completing FORM UAI 45ci (Unexpected Aerial Incident Report) for submission to the Department for Health & Safety (Ant Division), and readying himself to resume his mission. We are aware of questions being raised regarding the operative’s expense account, with particular concerns around the cost of overnight hotel accommodation. Whilst the Department sees no issue, as […]
- [3.24 The Chester Chronicle: Has Tiggy Lost Control?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-24-has-tiggy-lost-control/): By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground and Small Mammal Affairs Questions are beginning to be asked as to whether Tiggy FRCRS, Chester Station’s Chief Rat Catcher and Inspector of Human Behaviour, is losing control as she faces her most challenging period since appointing herself to public office. Demonstrations on Platform 6 entered a fourth day today, with non-flying mammal groups continuing to question why voting rights in the increasingly protracted Employee of the Week ballot have been extended to flying mammals whilst remaining unavailable to other mammalian species. Following the resignation of Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting […]
- [3.23 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-23-morning-update/): Good morning. Tiggy has now completed her morning patrol and all remains broadly under control. Demonstrations on Platform 6 became somewhat more animated overnight. Buzz, Senior Human Behaviour Analyst, and Toffee, Junior Data Acquisition Officer, remain on site overseeing the situation. Whilst their efforts have been described as enthusiastic, they have not yet resulted in any measurable reduction in unrest. In her professional capacity as Junior Data Acquisition Officer, Toffee has provisionally estimated that Platform 6 is now occupied by approximately 1.8 million insects, 641,397 spiders and “many multiples of cross mammals.” Her supervisor, Harley, has requested that she provide the […]
- [3.22 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-22-end-of-day-report/): The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. 🕊️ Emmeline’s letter of resignation is under consideration, and voting operations on Platform 5 have been temporarily suspended pending Tiggy’s deliberations. 🐶 In Emmeline’s absence, Buzz (Senior Human Behaviour Analyst) and Toffee (Junior Data Acquisition Officer) are overseeing the management of demonstrations on Platform 6. 🌍 The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations continues its enquiries following the loss of contact with its Field Operative. His whereabouts remain unknown. 📊 The statistical analysis and report regarding overnight flying mammal voting are still outstanding. 🏆 Voting for Employee of the Week […]
- [3.21 Office Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-21-office-update/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has acknowledged receipt of Emmeline’s letter of resignation and has retired to consider the matter personally. The resignation has not been accepted at this stage. Pending the outcome of Tiggy’s deliberations, voting operations on Platform 5 have been temporarily suspended and Buzz (Senior Human Behaviour Analyst) and Toffee (Junior Data Acquisition Officer) have been deployed to assist with the peaceful management of demonstrations on Platform 6. A further statement will be issued in due course.
- [3.20 Letter of Resignation](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-18-letter-of-resignation/): 🕊️ LETTER OF RESIGNATION 🕊️ To: Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour Cc: The Office of Tiggy Dear Tiggy, It is with considerable sadness that, with immediate effect, I tender my resignation as Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division). When I accepted this appointment, I had anticipated overseeing avian voting operations on Platform 5 only. However, since that time, my responsibilities have expanded to include overseeing overnight flying mammal voting, report writing and the management of increasingly vocal demonstrations on Platform 6. I have undertaken these duties willingly and to the very best of […]
- [3.19 Update from the Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-19-update-from-the-department-of-foreign-affairs-international-relations/): The Department reports that GPS contact with its Field Operative has once again been lost. The Department is investigating reports that the operative may have become involved in an unexpected aerial incident whilst en route to the Upton area to procure the services of an avian translation expert. The Office respectfully asks that human subjects refrain from speculation whilst enquiries remain ongoing. The operative’s family have been informed and are being supported by specially trained Liaison Officers. Further updates will be issued as information becomes available.
- [3.18 Re: Overnight Flying Mammal Voting Operations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-18-re-overnight-flying-mammal-voting-operations/): To: Emmeline, Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) Cc: The Office of Tiggy, Principal Private Secretary to Tiggy From: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis Dear Emmeline, Firstly, please accept my sincerest apologies for the continued delay in providing the Department’s statistical analysis regarding the overnight flying mammal voting operations. Unfortunately, yesterday afternoon Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA*, Special Adviser for Advanced Statistical Analysis, misplaced her favourite tennis ball. Given the gravity of the situation, Buzz (Senior Human Behaviour Analyst), Toffee (Junior Data Acquisition Officer) and I took the decision to suspend all analytical […]
- [3.17 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-17-morning-update/): Good morning. Tiggy has now completed her morning patrol and all remains broadly under control. A second night of overnight voting for eligible flying mammals has concluded. The Office still awaits Emmeline’s report regarding said overnight voting operations. Avian voting shall continue throughout the day on Platform 5. Emmeline has voiced some concerns regarding her current work schedule and workload, but continues to oversee avian and now flying mammal administrative matters with her customary professionalism. The Department of Foreign Affairs & International Relations has confirmed that its Field Operative continues to make steady progress towards Upton. Witness reports indicate he has […]
- [3.16 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-16-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that matters remain broadly under control. 🕊️ Avian Affairs is (with assistance from the Department of Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis), the Office hopes, continuing to prepare its report regarding last night’s overnight flying mammal voting operations. With no report to conclude the success or otherwise of overnight voting, Avian Affairs will once again offer overnight voting for nocturnal democratic participants. 🌍 The Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations reports that its Field Operative continues to make progress towards securing the services of an Avian Translation Expert. 📋 Demonstrations on Platform 6 remain ongoing. The Office […]
- [3.15 Re: Overnight Flying Mammal Voting Operations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-15-email-overnight-flying-mammal-voting-operations/): Subject: Overnight Flying Mammal Voting Operations To: Harley, Head of Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis Cc: The Office of Tiggy, Principal Private Secretary to Tiggy From: Emmeline, Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs(Platform 5 Division) Subject: Overnight Flying Mammal Voting Operations The Department of Avian Affairs can confirm that overnight voting operations for eligible flying mammals were completed successfully and, whilst the Department remains in the process of preparing its formal report, the Department would be grateful for assistance in reviewing participation data. I have attached the raw data reports generated by the Department for Electoral Administration & Voting Operations […]
- [3.14 Email: Overnight Flying Mammal Voting Operations](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/3-14-email-overnight-flying-mammal-voting-operations/): 📋 INTERNAL MEMORANDUM 📋 To: Emmeline, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division) From: Tiggy Subject: Overnight Flying Mammal Voting Operations Report Emmeline, I note that the report regarding overnight flying mammal voting operations remains outstanding. Whilst I appreciate that overnight voting arrangements may have presented certain administrative challenges, I would be grateful for an update at your earliest convenience. I trust the report is progressing satisfactorily. Regards,Tiggy Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour (FRCRS)The Office of Tiggy 🐾
- [12.12 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-12-morning-report/): Tiggy apologises for the slight delay in this morning’s report. She has been rather preoccupied enjoying the new massage chair received from Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn for her birthday. She has now completed her morning patrol and reports that everything remains broadly under control. Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq.’s travelling trolley remains parked outside the Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions (DIIP) following yesterday’s discovery of a number of Standard Issue Wee Parasols from Wee Parasols R Us inside his travelling tote. It is assumed he is still being questioned. Toffee has resumed counting her 217 paperclips. Harley has suggested moving […]
- [12.11 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-11-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that everything remains broadly under control. Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. successfully reached the Lost Property Office this morning aboard his newly adapted luggage trolley and has confirmed from the field notes contained therein that the travelling tote is indeed his. However, the tote was also found to contain a substantial quantity of wee umbrellas. Lost Property has therefore notified the Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions (DIIP), who have called Mr Moss in for questioning. He is now travelling by trolley to the DIIP offices, but maintains his innocence. […]
- [12.10 Tiggy's 7th Birthday Weekend: First Installment](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-10-tiggys-7th-birthday-weekend-first-installment/): Following repeated requests from human subjects, Tiggy has finally authorised the Office to release details of the celebrations arranged by Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn for her 7th birthday. The Office can now confirm that the weekend proceeded as follows: On Friday evening, Tiggy was collected from Chester Station and chauffeured by Rolls-Royce to Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn’s residence, Dillwyn Manor. On arrival, Tiggy was welcomed with a 2019 Vintage Tuna Water Reception, the vintage having been specially selected to correspond with the year of her birth. The tuna water was accompanied by hand-flaked yellowfin tuna and Cornish crab canapés, garnished with […]
- [12.09 Phileas Moss's Travelling Trolley](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-09-phileas-mosss-travelling-trolley/): Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. was captured travelling to the Lost Property Office aboard his newly adapted luggage trolley this morning.
- [12.08 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-08-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that everything remains broadly under control. The Duck (you know the one) has reported for his first full day as Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s assistant and has begun implementing his proposed improvements to the Staff Census queue. His first measure, a short period of guided reflection before ants are permitted to join the queue, is causing a little bit of a backlog, but the Duck remains confident that the new system merely requires time to “find its natural rhythm.” Mrs Peckhurst continues to decline to comment. Buzz has now located the […]
- [12.07 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-07-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that everything remains broadly under control. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has now been formally introduced to her new assistant, the Duck (you know the one). The Duck describes his first day as “wonderful” and has begun drawing up plans for improvements to queue management, alongside a programme of spiritual outreach for waiting ants. Mrs Peckhurst continues to decline to comment. Buzz has informed Harley that, following the decision to abandon the counting of the 143-box consignment of wee tap shoes from Wee Tap Shoes R Us, she intends to request that […]
- [12.06 Photograph from Tiggy's Birthday Weekend](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-06-photograph-from-tiggys-birthday-weekend/): Chris Holder has obtained this photograph of Tiggy’s birthday weekend. The Office is as intrigued as human subjects as to how the weekend unfolded and hopes Tiggy will spill the beans soon!
- [12.05 Live from Platform 5](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-05-live-from-platform-5/): Montgomery Burrows reporting: “Good afternoon. I am on Platform 5, where Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst is shortly expected to meet her newly appointed assistant. There is considerable excitement, with quite a crowd gathering. Let’s have a word with a spectator. Hello there. Who are you, and why are you here today?” “Good afternoon, I’m Margaret. I’ve popped up from Hoole – ooh, is this live?” “Indeed it is, Margaret.” “Oh, I would have done my spikes and put on a brooch had I known! Anyway, I heard Mrs Peckhurst was finally getting an assistant and wanted to congratulate her. She really is […]
- [12.04 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-04-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that everything remains broadly under control. The Department for Personnel & Administrative Affairs has completed the appointment documentation for the Duck (you know the one). Mrs Peckhurst is expected to be formally introduced to her new assistant once she returns from her morning round of delivering ballot papers for the Employee of the Week postal vote. The Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe judging panel has accepted Harley’s proposal to stop counting the 143-box consignment of wee tap shoes. Buzz and Toffee have been informed and are understood to be […]
- [12.03 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-03-evening-report/): Tiggy concluded that returning to full duties immediately following her birthday weekend was perhaps overly ambitious…she has therefore spent the day recovering and has skipped her evening patrol. The Office can, however, report that all appears broadly under control. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has spent much of the day catching up on Staff Census administration following her weekend postal ballot deliveries. The Department for Personnel & Administrative Affairs has confirmed that the necessary appointment documentation for her new assistant, the Duck (you know the one), is progressing and hopes to formally let Mrs Peckhurst know who her new colleague is shortly. Harley’s […]
- [12.02 Socks - Aptitude Assessment (CAT): Further Results](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-02-socks-aptitude-assessment-cat-further-results/): Training Exercise 4.3 – Module 2b: Plausible Deniability of Responsibility Socks has passed with a double distinction! The Department for Careers & Recruitment is extremely impressed with her performance.
- [12.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-01-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that everything remains broadly under control. 🕊️ Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has returned from weekend postal ballot deliveries and been informed that negotiations between Tiggy and Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), have resulted in additional staff to assist with the Staff Census queue on Platform 5. Mrs Peckhurst is delighted and eager to meet her new colleague, whose identity cannot be formally disclosed to her until the Department for Personnel & Administrative Affairs has completed the necessary appointment documentation. 🐶 Harley has reviewed the need to establish […]
- [11.21 Tiggy's 7th Birthday Limited Edition Mug & Coaster Set](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-21-tiggys-7th-birthday-limited-edition-mug-coaster-set/): Firstly, one would like to thank everyone who has sent birthday wishes, messages and made donations to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue. One is extremely grateful to all human subjects who have taken the time to mark this important occasion. To honour the day, Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn has created a very special Limited Edition Mug & Coaster Set – and has authorised the production of just seven individually numbered sets to mark each year of my life. Each set comprises: 1 × 11oz commemorative ceramic mug 1 × matching ceramic coaster Each matching mug and coaster carries its individual Limited Edition […]
- [11.20 Tiggy Has Left The Building](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-20-tiggy-has-left-the-building/): Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn arrived at Chester Station this afternoon, as promised, to collect Tiggy ahead of her 7th birthday tomorrow. Her arrival was not entirely uneventful: As she made her way along the platform, she was complimented by a rat on the fine umbrella she was carrying and, being the friendly sort, stopped to thank him. The pair fell briefly into conversation. The rat then lowered his voice and asked whether, as a lady who clearly appreciated quality apparel, she might have use for a quantity of wee parasols available at a very competitive price. Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn replied that she […]
- [11.19 Mrs Emmeline Peckhust Working Conditions: NUAE Negotiations - Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-19-mrs-emmeline-peckhust-working-conditions-nuae-negotiations-update/): The Office can confirm that formal discussions between Tiggy and Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), regarding Mrs Peckhurst’s workload and staffing requirements have now concluded. Tiggy accepts that the recent expansion of Mrs Peckhurst’s responsibilities – to include both administration of the Staff Census on Platform 5 and the postal ballot for the ongoing Employee of the Week vote – has created an unreasonable workload for one pigeon. During negotiations, Mr Thistlethwaite proposed a solution. During yesterday’s tour of Chester Station, Mr Thistlethwaite spent some considerable time observing an individual demonstrating exceptional confidence in addressing large groups, […]
- [11.18 Tiggy Merchandise Now Available in Cheshire Home Store](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-18-tiggy-merchandise-now-available-in-cheshire-home-store/): The Office is delighted to announce that Tiggy’s official merchandise is now available to buy in person in Chester: Cheshire Home Store, Chester Market, Exchange Square, Northgate Street, Chester, CH1 2AR All Tiggy merchandise is designed and hand-produced locally in Chester, with 10% of profits from every sale donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue. A huge thank you to @cheshirehomestore1 for giving Tiggy her very first retail space – particularly appropriate timing with her 7th birthday tomorrow!
- [11.17 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-17-morning-report/): MORNING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that, following the satisfactory resolution of yesterday’s dispute, normal Office operations have resumed and all remains broadly under control. With formal discussions postponed by Tiggy’s withdrawal from official duties yesterday, Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), instead spent the day meeting NUAE members around Chester Station and familiarising himself with local working conditions. Discussions between Mr Thistlethwaite and Tiggy regarding Mrs Peckhurst’s workload and staffing requirements will commence this morning. Amongst those Mr Thistlethwaite met were the duck (you know the one), whose skills of […]
- [11.16 Tiggy's Birthday: Agreement Reached](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-16-tiggys-birthday-agreement-reached/): The Office is pleased to announce that the dispute which resulted in Tiggy’s withdrawal from official duties this morning has now been resolved. Tiggy has accepted that her Personal Private Secretary will NOT be hiring Chester Town Hall for her 7th birthday celebrations this Saturday. In return, both parties have agreed that Tiggy’s birthday should instead be used to help cats who have not yet succeeded in acquiring their own railway station, Personal Private Secretary and extensive administrative infrastructure. The Office is therefore delighted to launch Tiggy’s 7th Birthday Fundraiser for Chester Kitty Cat Rescue-UK, the wonderful local charity which rescues, […]
- [002: Why Is Phileas Moss Trying to Get to Upton?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/002-why-is-phileas-moss-trying-to-get-to-upton/): Owing to several amendments to his original mission, the Office understands that some human subjects may have lost track of precisely why Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. is attempting to reach Upton (where there is believed to be an organisation which may possess the required expertise). For the avoidance of doubt: 🐦 1. FIRST CAME THE BIRDS Mr Moss was originally dispatched to procure an Avian Translation Expert to assist Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst with foreign migratory birds participating in the Employee of the Week vote following Universal Avian Suffrage. 🐝 2. THEN CAME THE INSECTS When voting rights were extended to […]
- [11.15 Official Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-15-official-notice/): There will be no Morning Report today. Tiggy has withdrawn from official duties following her Personal Private Secretary’s refusal to hire Chester Town Hall for her 7th birthday celebrations this Saturday, on the grounds that this would be “completely ridiculous; it’s not even a milestone birthday.” Tiggy counters that every Tiggy birthday is a milestone birthday.
- [11.14 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-14-evening-report/): EVENING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), arrived at Chester Station this afternoon to represent Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst. His slightly bumpy aerial arrival on Platform 5 displaced approximately 7,000 ants from the Staff Census queue. Mrs Peckhurst has spent much of the afternoon restoring order. Formal discussions will commence tomorrow. Buzz and Toffee have completed their recount of Box 1 of the 143-box consignment from Wee-Tap Shoes R Us. Their jointly agreed total is 1,011, which unfortunately does not correspond […]
- [11.13 Socks: Aptitude Assessments Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-13-socks-aptitude-assessments-update/): The Department for Careers & Recruitment is pleased to report that Socks has today undertaken her first assessment directly relevant to rodent control: Module 2a(i): Rodent Detection, Pursuit & Apprehension (Simulated) Following the release of a Starter Training Mouse, Socks successfully identified the target, pursued it and effected an enthusiastic apprehension. The Department is once again pleased to announce that Socks has been awarded a Distinction. Tiggy, in her capacity as Chief Rat Catcher, has reviewed the footage and accepts that the result demonstrates some potential, although she has pointed out that the test subject was considerably smaller than a rat, […]
- [11.12 Arrival of NUAE Representative](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-12-arrival-of-nuae-representative/): The Office can confirm that Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), has now arrived at Chester Station to represent Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst in ongoing discussions regarding her workload and staffing requirements. Mr Thistlethwaite flew into Chester shortly after 3.00pm. His journey was undertaken by air from the NUAE Regional Headquarters in Nantwich in a specially made flight harness, conveyed by eight blue tits of the NUAE Aerial Transport Unit under the command of Senior Flight Officer Captain Amy Johnson (starling). The crew executed a slightly bumpy landing on Platform 5 which, to Mrs Peckhurst’s considerable chagrin, caused significant […]
- [11.11 Official Clarification](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-11-official-clarification/): The Office wishes to address recent and entirely unfounded suggestions that Tiggy spends a disproportionate amount of the working day asleep. The Office considers these allegations both inaccurate and potentially damaging to her professional reputation as Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour. While records do indicate that Tiggy spent approximately 72.4% of the last working week asleep, this should not be confused with a lack of productivity. Tiggy’s considerable experience, highly developed delegation skills and carefully maintained napping schedule enable her to complete her official duties with exceptional efficiency, thereby requiring her to be on active duty for less […]
- [11.10 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-10-morning-report-2/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. As a member of the National Union of Avian Employees (NUAE), it has been confirmed that Mrs Peckhurst’s union representative, Mr Bernard Thistlethwaite, NUAE Regional Case Officer (Cheshire West), is flying into the Office later today to represent her in person. Buzz and Toffee have both received formal written warnings for deliberately avoiding weekend overtime. Now that Harley has retrieved the wee tap shoes scattered from Box 1, they have also been instructed not to leave the Office until a complete recount is finished. […]
- [11.09 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-09-evening-report/): EVENING REPORT: Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🕊️ Tiggy has formally acknowledged Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s concerns regarding her current working conditions and accepts that the duties presently assigned to one pigeon have become considerable. The Department for Careers & Recruitment has been instructed to review the long-promised provision of administrative assistance. Mrs Peckhurst has been assured that no further species, geographical areas or dance-related responsibilities will be added to her remit in the meantime. 🐶 Buzz and Toffee have now attended their meeting with Tiggy following the emergence […]
- [11.08 Socks - Aptitude Assessment (Cat): Further Results](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-08-socks-aptitude-assessment-cat-further-results/): 🐈 SOCKS – APTITUDE ASSESSMENT (CAT): FURTHER RESULTS The Department for Careers & Recruitment is pleased to report that Socks has achieved a further distinction in: AA(C) Module 1b: Ignoring Toys in Favour of Attacking Human’s Jumper. Despite having several perfectly serviceable toys immediately available, Socks successfully ignored all of them in favour of repeatedly attacking the cord on her Personal Private Secretary’s jumper. The Department considers this an excellent demonstration of natural feline aptitude. Well done, Socks! 🐾
- [11.07 Formal Notice Regarding Current Working Conditions](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-07-formal-notice-regarding-current-working-conditions/): FORMAL NOTICE REGARDING CURRENT WORKING CONDITIONS To: Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human BehaviourCc: The Office of Tiggy Dear Tiggy, Further to our meeting yesterday, I wish to formally record my concerns regarding my role as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs, Flying Mammals, Staff Census & Postal Ballot Administration (Platforms 5/6 Division). Since originally accepting a position as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs (Platform 5 Division), with the simple responsibilities of distributing ballot papers and overseeing lawful voting procedures in the Employee of the Week avian vote, I have acquired responsibility for: 🦇 […]
- [11.06 Out & About with Montgomery Burrows (Again)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-06-out-about-with-montgomery-burrows-again/)
- [11.05 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-05-morning-report/): MORNING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🕊️ Following yesterday’s meeting with Tiggy, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has submitted a formal list of concerns regarding her role as Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs, Flying Mammals, Staff Census & Postal Ballot Administration (Platforms 5/6 Division). She is understood to have described her current workload as “wholly unreasonable and beyond the capabilities of one pigeon”. ☂️ Station Rat B has yet to present himself for questioning regarding the supply of unauthorised cocktail parasols to Health & Safety (Ant Division). […]
- [11.04 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-04-evening-update/): 🐶 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis confirms that Harley (Head of Department) has seen Saturday's footage of Buzz and Toffee enjoying a leisurely stroll along the canal. Given that both had reported themselves unavailable to assist with the weekend retrieval of the scattered wee tap shoes, Harley has requested an explanation. ☂️ The Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities confirms that Station Rat B remains wanted for questioning in connection with the supply of unauthorised cocktail parasols to Health & Safety (Ant Division). Station Rat A has completed Day 12 of his 34-day custodial sentence. There is […]
- [11.03 Phileas's Expense Statement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-03-phileas-s-expense-statement/): PHILEAS'S TRAVELLING TOTE REMAINS MISSING, BUT THE BELOW, AN EXCERPT FROM HIS STATEMENT TO THE DEPARTMENT OF AUDITING & FINANCIAL COMPLIANCE, HAS BEEN RECOVERED. …progress along City Road towards Upton was excellent. However, as daylight turned to twilight, one realised the summer sun, a golden tyrant overhead, had rendered the pavement a faded echo of the Sahara's burning sands and oneself a faded echo of a desiccated prune – oh, how one could have wept for want of rain! I was taken back to an arduous assignment in the Erg Chebbi dunes, where golden mountains of sand changed colour from burnished […]
- [11.02 Montgomery Burrows: Out & About](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-02-montgomery-burrows-out-and-about/)
- [11.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/11-01-morning-report/): 🐜 The Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities continues its investigation into the supply of unauthorised cocktail parasols to members of Health & Safety (Ant Division). Station Rat B, who on Friday completed 27 hours of court-ordered community service within the Department for Street Food Regulation for his part in the provision of a fraudulent Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) and associated documentation to Mr Fergus Redfern, resulting in an outbreak of food poisoning, is wanted for questioning. Station Rat A, meanwhile, has begun Day 12 of 34 days in custody for his part in the same offence. 👞 […]
- [10.19 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-19-evening-update/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control. ☂️ The Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities has examined the unauthorised wee parasols confiscated from Health & Safety (Ant Division) and established that they do not appear to have originated from a single source. Enquiries continue. 😺 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis reports that Pepper BSc (Hons), FICSA, Special Adviser for Advanced Statistical Analysis, arrived during Harley’s third and deciding count of Box 1 of the 143-box consignment from Wee-Tap Shoes R Us. Unfortunately, in the excitement of her arrival, Pepper’s favourite […]
- [10.18 Department for Careers & Recruitment - Official Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-18-department-for-careers-and-recruitment-official-notice/): Following considerable discussion regarding the question of Socks’ future position within The Office, Tiggy has accepted a recommendation from the Department for Careers & Recruitment that no appointment should be made until the candidate’s particular abilities have been properly established. Socks will therefore commence a comprehensive programme of aptitude, competency and vocational assessments starting on Monday. The Department advises that the first stage will consist of Core Aptitude Testing, including (but not limited to), the ability to: 🍗 Extract additional snacks from human subjects 🛏️ Select resting locations of maximum inconvenience to human subjects 📦 Commandeer boxes irrespective of their intended […]
- [10.17 Official Briefing: Why Is Phileas Moss Trying to Get to Upton?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-17-official-briefing-why-is-phileas-moss-trying-to-get-to-upton/): Owing to several amendments to his original mission, the Office understands that some human subjects may have lost track of precisely why Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. is attempting to reach Upton (where there is believed to be an organisation which may possess the required expertise). For the avoidance of doubt: 🐦 1. FIRST CAME THE BIRDS Mr Moss was originally dispatched to procure an Avian Translation Expert to assist Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst with foreign migratory birds participating in the Employee of the Week vote following Universal Avian Suffrage. 🐝 2. THEN CAME THE INSECTS When voting rights were extended to […]
- [10.16 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-16-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. ☂️ Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that its investigation into the unauthorised wee parasols has been referred to the Department for Internal Investigations & Procurement Irregularities, which will attempt to establish their source. 🩰 This morning’s auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe have been paused while the judging panel devises a set routine for all candidates. The emphasis will be on competence and execution rather than ‘showy’ manoeuvres such as the reverse triple somersault with […]
- [10.15 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-15-evening-update/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control. 🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that Ant No. 8,624 is recovering well following this afternoon’s audition accident. Anita Butler’s subsequent inspection has, however, identified a number of non-Standard Issue parasols in circulation. All have been confiscated. The Office is now attempting to establish their source. 🩰 Auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe have concluded for the day. The audition panel advises that reverse triple somersaults with double parasol deployment and retraction are banned from audition routines until […]
- [10.14 Urgent Notice from Health & Safety (Ant Division)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-14-urgent-notice-from-health-and-safety-ant-division/): From: Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) I regret to report a serious incident during this afternoon’s auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe. It transpires that Ant No. 8,624, whose Standard Issue wee parasol remains one of the hundreds currently missing, attended his audition with a cocktail umbrella obtained from a currently unknown source. During an attempted reverse triple somersault with double parasol deployment and retraction, the aforementioned cocktail umbrella failed to deploy correctly, causing Ant No. 8,624, to the horror of both spectators and the audition panel, to tumble from the audition windowsill. […]
- [10.13 Introducing...](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-13-health-and-safety-ant-division-auditions/)
- [10.12 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-12-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐜 The Staff Census continues on Platform 5. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst notes steady progress, although numerical order is complicated by members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) leaving the queue to practise dance routines. Ants are reminded that their place in the queue is determined by their official Office Ant No., not their position in the dance troupe. 🩰 Auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe resume this morning. Station Lost Property has reunited a number of […]
- [10.11 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-11-evening-update/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control (at work, if not at home). 🐜 The Staff Census has continued on Platform 5 throughout the day. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst reports that operations have proceeded broadly as expected, although several further interruptions have occurred as members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) continue to rehearse audition routines whilst queuing. Ants are once again reminded to remain in strict order of their official Office Ant No. 🩰 Auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe have been well attended and will […]
- [10.10 Staff Census & Auditions Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-10-staff-census-and-auditions-update/): 🐜 The Office can confirm that the Staff Census has resumed on Platform 5 and auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe are now underway on the window sill adjacent to the bike storage. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst reports that Census operations have experienced some disruption due to ants rehearsing whilst queuing, resulting in ants having to be reordered by their official Office Ant No. following unscheduled changes in formation. MRS PECKHURST WOULD THEREFORE LIKE TO REITERATE: ANTS SHOULD NOT REHEARSE FOR AUDITIONS WHILST IN THE STAFF CENSUS QUEUE. Meanwhile, the first ants to successfully […]
- [10.09 Statement from Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq.](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-09-statement-from-field-operative-phileas-moss-esq/): My dear colleagues, I write in response to enquiries concerning my recent and, I understand, somewhat unexpected reappearance at Chester Station during my continuing expedition to Upton. Having taken suitable refreshment at The Deva Tap, I once again turned my gaze and travelling abode northwards and resumed my journey with renewed vigour, fortified in body and spirit and confident that a successful conclusion to my mission lay ahead. It was some considerable distance later, when passing Pierogi on Brook Street, that I became conscious of a curious sense that something was amiss. My progress seemed lighter; my burden inexplicably diminished. I […]
- [10.08 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-08-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control (at work, if not at home). 🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) confirms that 19 of the 645 wee parasols misplaced during Monday night’s celebrations at The Chester Station Tap have now been handed in to Station Lost Property. 626 remain unaccounted for. ⚖️ The precision weights supplied by Wee-Weights R Us have been checked and approved for use. The Staff Census will therefore resume on Platform 5 this morning. Health & Safety (Ant Division) is reminded that auditions for the newly proposed Synchronised Tap & Parasol […]
- [10.07 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-07-evening-update/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control (at work, if not at home). 🛍️ The Department of Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs is pleased to confirm that the first Official Office of Tiggy orders have now been dispatched. Mr Jeremy Sherwood, Senior Quality Assurance Inspector, approved the merchandise for release and Mrs Jennifer Sherwood, Head of Packaging & Dispatch, successfully completed the Office’s inaugural postal operation. The Office wishes the consignments a safe onward journey and sincerely hopes each human subject is delighted with their purchase. 🐜 Following the emergence of footage of last night’s […]
- [10.06 The Office Reveals Tiggy's Surprise](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-06-the-office-reveals-tiggy-s-surprise/): 🏠 The Office can now reveal the nature of the small surprise awaiting Tiggy at home – suggestions for both a name and a position in the Office welcome! Tiggy has not yet come home to meet the new arrival… the Office anticipates a considerable increase in Tiggy’s overtime commitments at Chester Station over the coming weeks. 😹
- [10.05 Breaking: Footage from The Chester Station Tap](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-05-breaking-footage-from-the-chester-station-tap/): 🐜 Footage has emerged of last night’s celebrations at The Chester Station Tap. Health & Safety (Ant Division) has declined to comment. 17 wee parasols have been handed into Lost Property; the whereabouts of the other missing 628 remain unknown. Footage provided by Chris Holder
- [10.04 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-04-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control. 🐜 Health & Safety (Ant Division) reports a subdued start following last night’s celebrations at @chesterstationtap. During the evening, 645 ants misplaced their wee parasols. If found, human subjects are requested to refrain from using them in cocktails and instead hand them in to Station Lost Property. 🐌 Field Operative Phileas Moss was sighted sliding on the tables with the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Dance Troupe last night. Officials are unclear why his mission brought him back to the station, having previously reached The Deva […]
- [10.03 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-03-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. 🛍️ The Department of Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs was extremely pleased to receive its first orders today and wishes to thank everyone for their wonderful support. 10% of profits from all official merchandise will be donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue. The Official Office of Tiggy Shop can be found at https://tiggythecat.co.uk/shop 🐜 Following this morning’s historic 26-Ant synchronised quadruple somersault with parasols fully extended, Health & Safety (Ant Division) is holding a celebration in The Chester Station Tap. Human patrons […]
- [10.02 Official Announcement from the Department of Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-02-official-announcement-from-the-department-of-merchandise-commemorative-affairs/): Following several weeks of paperwork, procurement, quality assurance, repeated discussions regarding mugs, an unexpectedly complicated investigation into tote bags and more forms than the Office considers reasonable, we are delighted to announce that… 🎉 THE OFFICIAL OFFICE OF TIGGY SHOP IS NOW OPEN! 🎉 For the first time, human subjects may acquire their very own officially sanctioned Office supplies, including: ☕ The Standard Issue Office of Tiggy Mug 👜 Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s Travelling Tote Bag 🐾 The Full Standard Issue Bundle …along with coasters, keyrings, bookmarks and pens. All official products have been designed by Tiggy’s Personal Private Secretary and […]
- [10.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/10-01-morning-report/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. 🐜 The Office is delighted to confirm that twenty-six members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) this morning successfully executed a flawless synchronised quadruple somersault with parasols fully extended, with all ants landing safely and exactly in formation. Unfortunately, no video footage exists as Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351), who was recording rehearsals for Health & Safety purposes, had been called away moments earlier due to an incident involving the duck (you know the one). Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst once again reminds […]
- [9.19 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-19-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Correspondence & Written Communications confirms that Tiggy’s thank you letter to Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn has, after several unsuccessful attempts, finally been completed to a satisfactory standard. The Department for Snacks & Treats has therefore permitted Tiggy to enjoy a strictly moderate allocation from the treats kindly provided by Jennifer. Discussions continue between the Department and Tiggy regarding their differing interpretations of “moderation”. Toffee will resit Module HB&SA-14: Attack Simulations – Realism & Excessive Enthusiasm: Where Is the […]
- [9.18 Letter to Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-18-letter-to-mrs-gladys-m-dillwyn-llewelyn/): Dear Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn, One has commenced this letter on several occasions, only to put it aside because no words seem sufficient. From the moment one was greeted at Pen-y-Bont Station until the moment one reluctantly departed for Chester, every kindness, thoughtful detail and moment of hospitality was simply extraordinary. One shall long remember enjoying chilled Welsh spring water infused with fresh catnip and the most delicious salmon morsels one has ever tasted in The Orangery. As for the meals you lovingly prepared, they were quite simply beyond compare – returning to station cuisine has required a certain…adjustment. One has […]
- [9.17 A Thank You](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-17-a-thank-you/): One wishes to express one’s sincere thanks to @Jennifer Flynn for these wonderfully thoughtful gifts, which arrived safely this morning. The beautiful card and delicious treats have quite made one’s day. It is kindness such as this that continually reminds one how extraordinarily fortunate one is to have such thoughtful friends following the work of the Office. Every message and kind word is appreciated far more than one could ever properly express. The Department of Snacks and Treats has requisitioned the treats for official inspection, but one is assured one will be allowed to enjoy them just as soon as one […]
- [9.16 Official Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-16-official-notice/): The Office regrets to advise members of the public that this morning’s scheduled update has been postponed pending Tiggy’s completion of her formal letter of thanks to Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn following last weekend’s exceptional hospitality at Dillwyn Manor. The Department for Correspondence & Written Communications had been under the impression that the letter had already been completed. It has, however, now come to light that, whilst the letter was commenced earlier this week, Tiggy has yet to finish it. Officials have therefore instructed that the correspondence must now be completed before Tiggy undertakes any further Office business. Accordingly, Tiggy is […]
- [9.15 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-15-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Communications makes no apology for the absence of this morning’s report. Tiggy remains perfectly at liberty to complete, or not complete, patrols as she sees fit. Today’s activities were considered suitably relaxed after yesterday’s court proceedings. The ants continue to practise their parasol routine whilst awaiting replacement precision calibration weights from Wee-Weights R Us. Following today’s Chester Chronicle article, several ants have enquired whether rehearsals may continue after Office hours. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has firmly reiterated that […]
- [9.14 Chester Chronicle Exclusive](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-14-chester-chronicle-exclusive/): By Montgomery Burrows Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground, Small Mammal & General Station Affairs Following an unprecedented delay to today’s Office of Tiggy morning report, I attended Chester Station to investigate the cause. Upon arriving on Platform 5, I discovered Tiggy sitting motionless, apparently completely mesmerised. Further investigation revealed that her attention had been captured by an increasingly elaborate synchronised parasol routine being performed by the ants awaiting the resumption of the Annual Staff Census. The performances, which have been taking place whilst the ants await the replacement precision calibration weights from Wee-Weights R Us, following the rejection of […]
- [9.13 Morning Report Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-13-morning-report-update/): The Office regrets that the publication of this morning’s report has been further delayed. Whilst Tiggy has now awakened from her earlier unscheduled rest stop, patrol operations have once again been interrupted. Officials report that Tiggy has become completely mesmerised by the increasingly elaborate synchronised parasol choreography currently being performed by the ants awaiting the resumption of the Annual Staff Census. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst advises that what began as a simple means of passing the time has developed into a surprisingly polished routine, featuring spins, formations and impeccable synchronisation. She has reminded the ants that they are present to complete their […]
- [9.12 Official Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-12-official-notice/): The Office regrets that this morning’s report has been delayed. Tiggy set out with her customary diligence to complete her morning patrol before her elevenses snacks and naps. Unfortunately, part way through she elected to take an unscheduled rest stop. Following her exceptionally busy day yesterday, during which she presided over lengthy court proceedings, the Department for Health & Wellbeing advises that a quiet morning is entirely appropriate. Human subjects and creatures alike are thanked for their patience and are reminded that Tiggy should under no circumstances be woken.
- [9.11 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-11-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. ⚖️ Following today’s judgment, Station Rat A has been transferred to secure accommodation to commence his thirty-four day custodial sentence. Officials report he has already lodged an appeal regarding the quality of the cheese. The appeal has been rejected. 🐜 The Department for Procurement can confirm that the carefully calibrated precision miniature weights from Wee-Weights R Us arrived safely this afternoon. Unfortunately, during routine inspection, Mr Archibald Webber, Senior Inspector, Department for Standards & Compliance (Sub-Department W: Quality Assurance & Structural […]
- [9.10 Court Judgement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-10-court-judgement/): The Court can now confirm that, having carefully considered the evidence and the respective defences presented by Station Rats A and B, Tiggy has now taken the Bench to deliver her judgment. “Following yesterday’s proceedings, one invited Mr Redfern to clarify the number of cubs he has. It has now been confirmed, as one rather suspected, that he has no cubs and has never claimed otherwise. Station Rat A therefore knowingly misled both his fellow defendant and this Court in an attempt to justify actions which he knew from the outset to be dishonest. One considers this deliberate deception, together with […]
- [9.09 Health & Safety Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-09-health-update/): Following recent enquiries regarding the temporary suspension of the Annual Staff Census, I have been asked to clarify the circumstances which led to the suspension. Readers may recall that the original census procedure required each ant to demonstrate their strength by lifting as many fellow ants as possible. Whilst scientifically sound in principle, the process proved somewhat less successful in practice. The repeated lifting of colleagues had an unfortunate tendency to leave the queue thoroughly discombobulated, with Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst spending almost as much time returning ants to their correct place in the queue as she did conducting the census itself. […]
- [9.08 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-08-morning-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Health & Wellbeing advises that Tiggy appears to be making a gradual recovery from her post-Dillwyn Manor holiday blues. Whilst she still pauses from time to time to gaze wistfully into the middle distance, she reportedly accepted breakfast this morning with no muttering about the absence of silver service and vintage tuna water. The Department for Law & Justice confirms that the Court continues to deliberate following yesterday’s proceedings concerning Station Rats A and B. Yesterday’s defence testimonies […]
- [9.07 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-07-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Law & Justice confirms that today’s court proceedings concerning the provision of a fraudulent Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) and associated documentation, which resulted in an outbreak of food poisoning, concluded this afternoon, with both Station Rats A and B having presented their respective defences. The Court has now retired to consider the evidence and determine appropriate sentences. Deliveries of Employee of the Week ballot papers continue throughout the CH1 district. It was thought that ballot papers […]
- [9.06 Court Transcript](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-06-court-transcript/): The following is a transcript of Station Rats A & B’s defences in the case brought by the Department for Law & Justice concerning the provision of a fraudulent Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) and associated documentation, resulting in an outbreak of food poisoning. STATION RAT A “Your Honour, I respectfully submit that my actions have been misunderstood. It is well known that the Department for Street Food Regulation is experiencing an unprecedented backlog of applications. At the same time, a local fox stood before us with the dream of running a food business, a hungry litter of cubs to […]
- [9.05 Official Itinerary: Tiggy's Pamper Weekend at Dillwyn Manor (Part II)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-05-official-itinerary-tiggys-pamper-weekend-at-dillwyn-manor-part-ii/): Sunday Programme 08.30: Awakening Ceremony – Tiggy to wake naturally within the luxury guest suite, with Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn in attendance to open the curtains and flood the room with sunlight at the precise moment she stirs. 09.15: Breakfast – A six-course tasting menu prepared by Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn featuring Welsh meats and fish, accompanied by a flight of broths including Salt Marsh Lamb Reduction and Carmarthenshire Mouse Elixir. 11.00: Portrait Sitting – Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn to continue work on her oil portrait of Tiggy. Tiggy’s participation shall be entirely voluntary; she may instead elect to nap or wander away entirely. 11.30: Hunting Expedition […]
- [9.04 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-04-morning-update/): MORNING UPDATE: The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. It is advised that Tiggy is still suffering from slight holiday blues following her weekend stay at Dillwyn Manor. Whilst station facilities, food provisions, and matters relating to fuss and attention remain, on the whole, entirely satisfactory, they cannot quite compete with Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn’s exacting standards. Human subjects should therefore be aware that Tiggy may be somewhat more aloof than usual and will almost undoubtedly turn her nose up at mass-produced cat food. The Department for Travel […]
- [9.03 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-03-evening-update/): EVENING UPDATE: The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Travel & Hospitality notes that today’s publication of Part I of Tiggy’s official pamper weekend itinerary has generated considerable public interest and confirms that Part II, covering Sunday’s programme, will be released tomorrow. Tiggy is still delighting in memories of the menu and notes that station catering is not quite the same. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst reports that, following another ant-lifting incident this afternoon, Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) has issued a temporary Health & Safety Enforcement […]
- [9.02 Official Itinerary: Tiggy's Pamper Weekend at Dillwyn Manor (published due to public interest)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-02-official-itinerary-tiggys-pamper-weekend-at-dillwyn-manor-published-due-to-public-interest/): Part I: Friday Evening to Saturday Evening 17.22: Tiggy to depart for Pen-y-Bont. 19.55: Arrival at Pen-y-Bont Railway Station, where Tiggy will be greeted by the Manor’s chauffeur and transported to Dillwyn Manor. 20.10: Welcome reception: formal introductions and refreshments of chilled Welsh spring water infused with fresh catnip, accompanied by salmon morsels lightly dusted with finely ground silvervine, to be served in The Orangery. 20.45: Official Welcome Supper (Dining Room) • Hand-shredded Welsh pheasant breast • Rich Pembrokeshire duck broth (slow simmered for eight hours) • Finished with cold-pressed Welsh salmon oil A freshly prepared valerian root infusion to be […]
- [9.01 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/9-01-morning-update/): MORNING UPDATE: The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. Tiggy’s weekend at Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn’s manor in Penybont was most agreeable and included bird watching, sun-bathing and extensive fuss. The dining menu was exquisite, with a highlight being the dinner of hand-shredded Welsh pheasant breast simmered in rich duck broth and finished with cold-pressed wild salmon oil that was presented upon her arrival (prepared by Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn herself). Tiggy was also delighted to be shown around Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn’s craft studio, which contains a number of works in […]
- [8.20 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-20-evening-report/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Law & Justice has now concluded its investigation into the recent food poisoning incident. An Official Statement has been issued confirming that Mr Fergus Redfern was himself the victim of an elaborate fraud perpetrated by Station Rats A and B. Following the conclusion of enquiries, Mr Redfern has been released with no further action. Station Rats A and B remain in custody pending sentencing. The Department for Training & Retraining is pleased to report that Toffee has successfully […]
- [8.19 Official Statement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-19-official-statement/): The Department for Law & Justice has now completed its interviews with Station Rats A and B and can confirm that it is satisfied that, knowing Mr Fergus Redfern had recently submitted a genuine application for a Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL), the pair concocted a plan to impersonate Food Safety Inspectors in order to fraudulently extract money from him. Mr Redfern states: “I had been waiting some weeks for the result of my food licence application, so when two individuals wearing white coats approached me and introduced themselves as Food Safety Inspectors from the Department for Street Food Regulation, […]
- [8.18 CCTV Footage of Tiggy Apprehending Station Rat A](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-18-cctv-footage-of-tiggy-apprehending-station-rat-a/): The Department for Law & Justice has today authorised the release of this footage which provides a rare insight into Tiggy’s exceptional skills and demonstrates precisely why she graduated from the Royal College of Rodent Studies with First Class Honours and was awarded the Chancellor’s Prize for Excellence
- [8.17 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-17-morning-report/): The Office is pleased to confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst is pleased to report that steady progress continues in the Staff Census with a further six members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) having now completed their paperwork, bringing the grand total processed to 18. A fully licensed street-food trader will be attending the line today to provide refreshments for the remaining 14,982 ants who continue to queue with admirable discipline. All creatures are reminded not to purchase food or drink from unlicensed traders. The Department for Training […]
- [8.16 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-16-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Law & Justice confirms that both Station Rats A and B are now in custody and assisting officers with their enquiries into the counterfeit Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) and fraudulent Food Safety Assessment documentation found in the possession of the fox at the centre of the recent food poisoning incident involving contaminated ‘Chicken Nibbles’. The Department for Merchandise & Commemorative Affairs’ newest recruits, Mr & Mrs Sherwood, have spent the day familiarising themselves with departmental procedures, […]
- [8.15 Breaking News](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-15-breaking-news/): The Department for Law & Justice is pleased to confirm that Station Rat A has been taken into custody. The arrest followed information received earlier today from Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn, who had travelled from Pen-y-Bont to Chester Station to deliver an exquisitely detailed, microscopically stitched needlepoint portrait of Tiggy. Whilst making her way through the station, Mrs Dillwyn-Llewelyn happened to notice what she described as “a scruffy-looking fellow with a shifty air, pointy nose, and awful yellowed, crooked teeth peering out from behind a promotional display for summer rail discounts.” Upon hearing this description Tiggy, with her customary speed and […]
- [8.14 Official Appointment Announcement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-14-official-appointment-announcement/): Following a rigorous recruitment process conducted by the Department for Careers & Recruitment, the Office is pleased to announce the appointment of: Mr Jeremy Sherwood to the position of Senior Merchandise Quality Inspector and Mrs Jennifer Sherwood to the position of Senior Packaging & Presentation Inspector For many years, Mr and Mrs Sherwood have enjoyed distinguished careers in structural engineering, specialising in the design, construction and maintenance of complex timber structures throughout the region. Their exceptional craftsmanship, meticulous attention to detail and uncompromising commitment to quality have earned them an enviable reputation within the engineering profession. Having now accepted their appointments […]
- [8.13 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-13-morning-update/): MORNING UPDATE: The Office is pleased to confirm that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Staff Census continues, with Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst reporting that a further three members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) have now successfully completed their census forms, bringing the total processed to 12. Mrs Peckhurst sends her personal thanks to the remaining 14,988 ants patiently awaiting their turn and compliments them on being every bit as proficient at standing in line as they are at marching. Hurrah! Census operations for all other creatures remain suspended pending the recruitment of […]
- [8.12 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-12-evening-update/): EVENING UPDATE: The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. Despite a slightly bumpy start due to a surprising number of creatures being unable to identify their own scientific species, good progress was nevertheless made in the Staff Census, with the forms of 9 employees from Health & Safety (Ant Division) successfully completed. The remaining 14,991 ants have been thanked for their continued patience. Following today’s difficulties, Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s mission has been changed from locating Insect & Avian Translation Experts to instead recruiting a Temporary Classification & […]
- [8.11 Health & Safety Alert](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-11-health-safety-alert/): This is a reminder that the vast majority of Health & Safety (Ant Division) remain on Platform 5 awaiting their turn to complete their Staff Census forms. Human Subjects and any other larger creatures frequenting the platform are accordingly requested to take great care where they step. You may recall there is already a crutch shortage following the incident involving Toffee, a box of pamphlets, a duck (you know the one), a millipede and a field mouse. Additionally, Health & Safety has received reports that the aforementioned duck has once again been distributing unsolicited literature on Platform 5. Please do not […]
- [8.10 Staff Census Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-10-staff-census-update/): The Office can confirm that an unexpected administrative difficulty has arisen during the first day of the Official Staff Census. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst reports that, whilst the vast majority of creatures have attended the census in good order, a significant number have proved unable to state their scientific species despite having attended the Department for Biological Classification, Taxonomy & General Creature Identification. Investigations have revealed that this is due to the Department’s resident expert in the identification of mammals, birds, insects and arachnids being on a twelve-month secondment in Costa Rica, working with the United Nations International Pollinator Liaison Programme to […]
- [8.09 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-09-morning-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Official Staff Census commences on Platform 5 today. All creatures are reminded to complete their forms honestly and legibly. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has requested patience whilst operations are underway and asks all creatures to ensure they have any relevant ID documentation ready before reaching the front of the queue. The process will proceed alphabetically by scientific species name. Any creature unsure of their scientific classification should report to the Department for Biological Classification, Taxonomy & General Creature Identification BEFORE joining […]
- [8.08 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-08-evening-report/): EVENING REPORT: The Office can confirm that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The first day of training for the temporary carrier pigeons recruited to transport ballot papers has been largely successful, with five of the six recruits successfully completing their initial exercises. Unfortunately, the sixth had to be released from duty after boarding a train to Holyhead when he had, in fact, been instructed to fly to Rugby. Station Rats A & B remain at large. The Department for Law & Justice urges anybody with any information regarding their whereabouts to come forward. […]
- [8.07 Archive Footage](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-07-archive-footage/): Footage recently uncovered by the Department for Archiving & Historical Research reveals that Tiggy was not always quite so wise…
- [8.06 Breaking News](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-06-breaking-news/): The Department for Law & Justice advises that the investigation into the outbreak of food poisoning, together with the counterfeit Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) and Food Safety Assessment documentation presented by the fox who prepared and sold the “Chicken Nibbles”, has taken a significant step forward. Earlier today, Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn, a passenger travelling from Pen-y-Bont to Chester to deliver a hamper of artisan treats to Tiggy, discovered two discarded white laboratory coats abandoned in the station toilets and handed them into the Lost Property Office. “I had just stopped to wash my hands before presenting Tiggy with […]
- [8.05 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-05-morning-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control. The recruitment of carrier pigeons to help Emmeline manage the postal ballot is now well underway, with six pigeons beginning their initial training today. As part of this, they will spend the day delivering and collecting blank pieces of paper around the station. Passengers and station staff are requested to simply accept the pieces of paper as though they were expecting them should a pigeon attempt delivery. Please be reminded that the Official Staff Census will commence on Platform 5 tomorrow. […]
- [8.04 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-04-evening-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. Following this afternoon’s announcement regarding Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s promotion, the Department for Careers & Recruitment has commenced the process of appointing the additional carrier pigeons required to support forthcoming postal ballot operations. Early applications have been encouraging, although several candidates appear to have exaggerated their previous long-distance delivery experience. The Department for Law & Justice continues its investigation into the counterfeit Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) presented by the fox. Witnesses who may have seen the two characters in white […]
- [8.03 Official Announcement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-03-official-announcement/): Following extensive discussions, the Office is delighted to announce that Mrs Peckhurst has agreed to withdraw her resignation and accept a further promotion. To this end, and in recognition of her outstanding service and continued commitment to managing the Employee of the Week ballot on Platform 5 and maintaining order on Platform 6, Mrs Peckhurst has been promoted from: Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs & Flying Mammals (Platform 5/6 Division) to: Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs, Flying Mammals, Staff Census & Postal Ballot Administration (Platforms 5/6 Division) As part of her expanded responsibilities, Mrs Peckhurst […]
- [8.02 Staff Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-02-staff-notice/): The Department for Facilities Management reminds all staff that Tiggy’s choice of sleeping location should not be questioned. Should an office chair be required for official business, one should simply procure one from elsewhere. Under no circumstances should staff attempt to move Tiggy or occupy the unoccupied bed as an alternative seating arrangement.
- [8.01 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/8-01-morning-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters remain broadly under control. The Office is delighted to announce that an agreement has now been reached with Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst. Tiggy will make a full statement regarding the outcome in due course (as her snack and nap schedule permits). The Department for Law & Justice advises that, during questioning over the weekend, the fox at the centre of the recent food poisoning scandal produced what he believed to be a valid Station Street Food Vendor’s Licence (SSFVL) together with a certificate stating that he […]
- [7.19 Evening Round Up](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-19-evening-round-up/): The Office can confirm that Tiggy has now completed her evening patrol and that all remains broadly under control. The Department for Street Food Regulation has continued its investigation into a number of cases of food poisoning. Early findings appear to support initial suspicions that the outbreak originated from an unlicensed fox selling portions of a discarded chicken baguette as “Chicken Nibbles”. The Office reminds all creatures that suspiciously inexpensive food is often inexpensive for a reason. The fox in question has been detained for questioning. Meanwhile, voting on Platform 5 remains suspended whilst discussions with Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continue. The […]
- [7.18 Is Tiggy Stalling?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-18-is-tiggy-stalling/): By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground & Small Mammal Affairs It has now been one week since Tiggy’s landmark constitutional ruling extended voting rights to every creature, regardless of species or method of locomotion. Yet, despite the historic nature of the decision, not a single vote has since been cast. Following the resignation of Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, voting on Platform 5 was suspended indefinitely whilst negotiations regarding her future continue. Although the Office insists discussions remain “ongoing”, no indication has been given as to when polling might resume. The result is a curious constitutional paradox. Every creature […]
- [7.17 Public Health & Safety Alert](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-17-public-health-safety-alert/): The Department for Street Food Regulation has received reports of an outbreak of food poisoning amongst creatures frequenting Chester Station. The outbreak is believed to have originated from a discarded chicken baguette which was retrieved from a litter bin and divided into portions before being sold on as “Chicken Nibbles” by an unlicensed fox. Whilst investigations remain ongoing, creatures are advised not to purchase food from unlicensed vendors, regardless of how enthusiastically they may describe their products as “fresh today.” The Office can also confirm that similar concerns have recently been brought to its attention regarding Platform 4 at York Station, […]
- [7.16 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-16-morning-report/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. Toffee remains off duty whilst resitting Manual Handling Course MHB-01, “Read the Label First: Safe Identification and Relocation of Boxes.” The Office understands she has a practical assessment today entitled: “Which Box to Move?” in which she must decide whether to move or leave a selection of boxes. She is wished every success in this assessment. The Department for Elections & Governance confirms that voting on Platform 5 remains suspended whilst Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst’s resignation continues to be considered. […]
- [7.15 Evening Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-15-evening-update/)
- [7.14 Official Incident Report - Platform 5](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-14-official-incident-report-platform-5/): The Departments for Law & Justice and Health & Safety (Ant Division) can now confirm that this morning’s incident on Platform 5 occurred after Toffee mistakenly identified a box of informational pamphlets produced by the duck (yes… that one) as official Staff Census literature. Believing she was assisting preparations for the forthcoming census, she placed the box on top of the currently out-of-use ballot box. Upon seeing this, the duck attempted to retrieve his property. Unfortunately, Toffee, believing the pamphlets to be official Office documents, leapt up to prevent what she mistakenly believed to be a theft. During the resulting struggle, […]
- [7.13 Statement from Phileas](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-13-statement-from-phileas/): To the Department of Auditing & Financial Compliance, Firstly, please accept my apologies for the delay in sending this statement. It is rather an amusing story, actually. One shall keep it brief. It was a hot summer’s evening, with conditions on City Road reminiscent of the long, humid days I spent travelling the borders of Southern India, where rickshaws clattered down dusty trails and the air was thick with the scent of mango wood (Maanga Maram) smoke and crushed cardamom (Elettaria cardamomum). It was only when Koconut Grove came into view that one realised the intoxicating aroma was not merely a […]
- [7.12 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/7-12-morning-update/): The Office is pleased to report that Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and that matters, once again, remain broadly under control. The Office reminds all creatures that voting remains suspended following Mrs Peckhurst’s resignation. It can also confirm that an incident occurred shortly after 8.30am, necessitating the attendance of the Departments for Law & Justice and Health & Safety (Ant Division) to Platform 5. No further details have been released at this time, however, Toffee has subsequently been relieved of her duties pending mandatory retraining, leaving Buzz to oversee the growing crowds alone. To reiterate, Buzz has neither the ability […]
- [18.15 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-15-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🗳️ Following 17 weeks of voting and counting, the results of the Employee of the Week ballot for the week ending 12 June have finally been released and, quite extraordinarily, Sophie, Becky and Jakub each received precisely 10,483,726 and 2/8ths votes and have therefore been declared joint winners. Each will receive a personalised commemorative mug. 🐈 In light of the considerable administrative burden arising from the introduction of democracy, Tiggy has decided to return to the previous system of TIGGTOTALITARIANISM. She has thus declared […]
- [18.14 Employee of the Week(Week Ending 12 June 2026): The Results!](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-14-employee-of-the-week-the-results/): It’s been a long 17 weeks, which have included: Mrs Peckhurst attaching herself to the railings in protest of the Avian Representation Act 1996; the repeal of said Act resulting in full avian suffrage; further protests and demonstrations; voting reform; bat moths; even more protests and reforms eventually resulting in voting rights for all animals and insects; the introduction of postal voting; counting and recounting; disciplinary proceedings, and, most recently, the appointment of a tortoise, hare and hummingbird counting team. But FINALLY, an official adjudicator from the North West Electoral Standards & Verification Board has certified the results. And, in a […]
- [18.13 Carriage Shed Food & Craft Festival Cancelled](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-13-carriage-shed-food-craft-festival-cancelled/): 📢 IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT 📢 CARRIAGE SHED FOOD & CRAFT FESTIVAL CANCELLED I’m really sorry to let everyone know that, due to the forecast high winds, the organisers have made the decision to cancel tomorrow’s Carriage Shed Food & Craft Festival. This is incredibly disappointing, not only because of all the preparation that’s gone into making merchandise and getting ready for Tiggy’s first market, but even more so because I was really looking forward to meeting and chatting with some of Tiggy’s wonderful followers. Of course, I completely understand the organiser’s decision – safety has to come first. Tiggy’s merchandise is still […]
- [18.12 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-12-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🔔 The Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions (DIIP) has today released the first extracts from its interview with Matthias de Gans, reigning World Town Crier Champion, and his legal representative. Mr de Gans is reported to have become increasingly agitated and disconcerted as questioning progressed. Questioning will recommence tomorrow. 🦆 Doctors at The Earl of Chester Hospital have reported a significant development in the Duck’s condition. This afternoon, with Emmeline at his bedside, he opened his eyes and uttered a barely audible quack. […]
- [18.11 DIIP Interview: Matthias de Gans](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-11-diip-interview-matthias-de-gans/): The following is from an interview conducted by the Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions (DIIP) with reigning World Town Crier Champion Matthias de Gans, accompanied by his legal representative, Pieter van Klomp. DIIP: Mr de Gans, could you explain how your partial wing print came to be on Mr Solberg’s bell, the clapper from which inexplicably came loose and seriously wounded the Duck (you know the one)? DE GANS: Well, I…um…err… VAN KLOMP: Perhaps it is prudent to point out that the presence of a wing print, partial at that, does not in itself establish that the bell was purposefully […]
- [18.10 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-10-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🗳️ It’s been a long 17 weeks, which have included: Mrs Peckhurst attaching herself to the railings in protest against the Avian Representation Act 1996; the repeal of said Act resulting in full avian suffrage; further protests and demonstrations; voting reform; even more protests and reforms eventually resulting in voting rights for all animals and insects; the introduction of postal voting; counting and recounting; missing ballot boxes; disciplinary proceedings, and, most recently, the appointment of a tortoise, hare and hummingbird counting team – but […]
- [18.09 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-09-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her review of departmental records and is delighted to report that, after a number of days in which all was not broadly under control, all is once again broadly under control. 🐾 Following this morning’s generous delivery from Michał, Tiggy has been released from house arrest. And, in a further welcome development, this afternoon her identification tags were handed in at Chester Station. The Office thanks both Michał and whoever found the tags (please let us know if it was you, or if you know who it was!). Therefore, while her original collar still remains at large, Tiggy […]
- [18.08 Leaked Audition Notes: Ant 675](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-08-leaked-audition-notes-ant-675/): The Office is investigating how the following confidential judging notes from the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Company auditions have entered the public domain. ANT NUMBER: 675 | NAME: Tate McKay AUDITION 1: Tate failed to adequately warm up and subsequently twisted three ankles during the opening sequence. JUDGE NOTES:- Julian Mercer (Choreographer): Candidate made a confident entrance and commanded strong stage presence prior to injury. Would be prepared to see again. DECISION: RE-AUDITION Edmund Rattle (Conductor): A competent, if perhaps slightly overenthusiastic start – the candidate was a touch ahead of the beat, although this may have been nerves rather than […]
- [18.07 A Very Special Delivery](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-07-a-very-special-delivery/): The Office is delighted to report that, following the disappearance of Tiggy’s tracker, Michał Marosz has incredibly kindly provided her with a brand-new one. It arrived accompanied by a lovely letter (copied below), which Tiggy’s PPS found extremely funny. Importantly, it means Her Supreme Feline Majesty can get back to work with her “full administrative powers” rightfully restored. We are enormously grateful to Michal for such a generous gesture. Thank you so much – Tiggy has promised to take great care of this one…and also get back to stopping the station from completely crumbling in her absence! Michal’s letter is reprinted […]
- [18.06 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-06-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and reports that, aside from the continuing matter of her missing collar, all remains broadly under control. ⛪ Following today’s inspection of the Wee Parasol Cathedral, Dr Millicent Meles of the Chester Society of Miniature Architecture has raised concerns regarding the absence of planning permission. Simon Turner (Ant No. 380), Senior Structural Adviser, continues to maintain that the Cathedral’s inherent foldability renders it a temporary structure. Dr Meles disagrees. 🕊️ Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has penned a letter to her husband confirming she will not be returning home. In the letter, she also makes her feelings […]
- [18.05 Dear Ernest](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-05-emmelines-letter-to-ernest/): Dear Ernest, It is with a heavy heart and downward beak that I write this letter, but I feel the time has come for an open and honest assessment of our marriage. I have, over the years, been a supportive spouse. I stayed at home to raise our brood, allowing you to pursue your career, and for many years I did not mind. Call me old-fashioned, but I believed it was my place to feather our nest and make our home life as comfortable as possible. But things have changed – the children have flown, yet you still expect me to […]
- [18.04 Wee Parasol Cathedral: Foldable or Firmly Fixed?](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-04-an-investigative-report-by-montgomery-burrows/): By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground, Small Mammal & General Station Affairs The long-awaited inspection of the Wee Parasol Cathedral by the Chester Society of Miniature Architecture took place earlier today and has taken an unexpected turn which may put the structure itself in jeopardy. Originally conceived as a small side project to keep Health & Safety (Ant Division) occupied during the dispute which halted both the Staff Census and auditions for the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Company, the Wee Cathedral has grown from modest undertaking to major construction project. Built entirely from Wee Parasols supplied by […]
- [18.03 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-03-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and regrets to report that, although certain matters have progressed, all does not yet remain broadly under control. 🏠 Tiggy is still under house arrest while the matter of her missing GPS collar continues. Some potentially useful new information which may assist with enquiries has come to light. Tiggy nevertheless wishes to reiterate that the collar can still simply be returned, no questions asked. 🗳️ Tiggy has made good progress on counting the final 25 boxes of Employee of the Week ballot papers. Buzz, Toffee and Socks’ offers of assistance have been firmly rejected. 🦆 […]
- [18.02 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-02-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the departmental records and regrets to report that, due to the continued disappearance of her GPS collar, all does not remain broadly under control. 🏠 Tiggy is still on house arrest while her GPS collar remains at large in Woodchurch. The Office thanks the many human subjects who have shared today’s appeal. Given that the collar has now lost power without being returned, the matter has been reported to the police. The Office would nevertheless like to stress that it can still simply be returned, no questions asked (it is tied to an account, so of no use […]
- [18.01 Please Share – Have You Seen Tiggy’s Collar](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/18-01-please-share-have-you-seen-tiggys-collar/): !!!ALL DOES NOT REMAIN BROADLY UNDER CONTROL!!! Tiggy is currently working from home after losing her (rather expensive!) GPS collar and QR tag. The collar was last tracked as being in The Carriage Shed adjacent to Chester Station at 18.28 on Saturday 3 October, at which time it suddenly moved quickly out of Chester (presumably by car) and travelled to a street in Woodchurch at 19.39, where it has subsequently remained. Thankfully Tiggy stayed in Chester! Mr Phileas Moss Esq. has already offered to put his current mission to reach Upton on hold and divert to Woodchurch. This has, however, been […]
- [17.15 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-15-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 Mr Ernest Peckhurst has instructed his wife to end her bedside vigil and return home. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst has informed him that she intends to do no such thing and that he can fend for himself for once. The condition of the Duck (you know the one) remains unchanged. 🔔 Reigning World Town Crier Champion Matthias de Gans of Utrecht attended the Office today to explain how his partial goose print came to be on Hindrik Solberg’s handbell. Mr de Gans has […]
- [17.14 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-14-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 Mr Ernest Peckhurst returned home late yesterday evening following a week-long overseas business trip in his capacity as Managing Director of Peckhurst & Son Engineering Ltd, the long-established manufacturing firm he inherited from his father. He is understood to have been extremely flappy at having to prepare his own supper after a long flight and flappier still when he learnt that his wife was at the bedside of the Duck (you know the one) and had been there all week. The Duck’s […]
- [17.13 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-13-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 The Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions has identified the partial goose print recovered from Hindrik Solberg’s ceremonial handbell as belonging to reigning World Town Crier Champion Matthias de Gans of Utrecht, the Netherlands. Mr de Gans has been asked to attend the Office tomorrow to explain how his print came to be on Mr Solberg’s bell. The Duck’s (you know the one) condition remains unchanged. 🪑 Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn today began taking the measurements required for the life-size, exact, poseable […]
- [17.12 Tiggy Says Socks Smells of Dog](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-12-tiggy-says-socks-smells-of-dog/): Tiggy says Socks smells of dog. Socks says she can’t imagine why.
- [17.11 Feline Sedan Chair Replica Measurements](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-11-feline-sedan-chair-replica-measurements/): This afternoon Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn began taking measurements for the life-size, exact, poseable replica of Tiggy to be used during the forthcoming Department for Vehicular Licensing & Animal Conveyance (DVLAC) examination of the four badgers assigned to be her Feline Sedan Chair bearers. Tiggy permitted the measurement of her height, ear, whisker and forepaw lengths with only moderate tail thrashing, but firmly declined to cooperate when Mrs D-L produced her weighing scales. Subsequent attempts to measure Tiggy’s circumference were suspended when she hissed at Mrs D-L and went to lie on the station concourse, glaring moodily at the gathering crowd. […]
- [17.10 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-10-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 Following forensic examination, a partial goose print has been found on Hindrik Solberg’s ceremonial handbell. Investigators are now working to establish whose print this is and whether it may be connected to Saturday’s incident in which the Duck (you know the one) was struck by the bell’s clapper. He remains in a coma at the Waterfowl Unit of The Earl of Chester Hospital, with Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continuing her bedside vigil. 🗳️ Mrs Constance Pickering reports that the tortoise, hare and hummingbird […]
- [17.09 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-09-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 Hindrik Solberg, the Norwegian lemming whose ceremonial handbell was involved in Saturday’s incident at the World Town Crier Tournament, attended the Office this afternoon to assist the Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions with its enquiries. Mr Solberg has confirmed that the bell was in full working order when he last inspected it – he is understood to be devastated by what has happened and is, at this time, under no direct suspicion. The Duck (you know the one) remains in a […]
- [17.08 My Inaugural Flight (Part 2)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-08-my-inaugural-flight-part-2/): By Phileas Moss Esq. Words are hard to come by to adequately document what I can only describe as my perilous ascent into the rarefied reaches of the upper atmosphere. I could not tell you how high I rose. At such altitudes, measurements become largely academic, but I can say the air sharply grew thin, reminding me of a particularly arduous crossing of a pass high in the Southern Carpathian Mountains during an expedition to Brașov. Oh, how hard won was every breath…but even that expedition could not have prepared me for what happened next… Something pink flashed through the air […]
- [17.07 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-07-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 The Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions has established that the clapper that struck the Duck (you know the one) during the World Town Crier Finale came from the ceremonial handbell of Hindrik Solberg, a Norwegian lemming representing Stokmarknes. As the bell’s owner, Mr Solberg has been asked to attend the Office to assist with enquiries. He is not currently under direct suspicion, but investigators are keen to establish who else may have had access to the bell. The Duck remains in […]
- [17.06 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-06-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 The Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions has now begun its forensic examination of the ceremonial handbell and detached clapper involved in Saturday’s incident at the World Town Crier Finale. The Duck (you know the one) remains in a coma at the Waterfowl Unit of The Earl of Chester Hospital. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues to sit at his bedside. The Staff Census has been put on hold. 🗳️ Independent adjudicator Mrs Constance Pickering has confirmed that North West Temporary Counting & Clerical […]
- [17.05 Socks Aptitude Assessment (CAT): Training Exercise 6.4](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-05-socks-aptitude-assessment-cat-training-exercise-6-4/): Simulated Prey Herding & Claw Control In this assessment, Socks was required to demonstrate visual tracking, controlled pursuit and the ability to herd a simulated target while exercising complete claw restraint. For Health & Safety reasons, live prey is not permitted during initial training, therefore a balloon was provided as a simulated target. Socks’s performance has been submitted to the Department for Training & Retraining for review.
- [17.04 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-04-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 The Duck (you know the one) remains in a coma at the Waterfowl Unit of The Earl of Chester Hospital following Saturday’s incident at the World Town Crier Tournament. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst continues to sit by his bedside. Anita Butler has examined the ceremonial handbell and detached clapper involved in the incident and has identified damage inconsistent with accidental failure. She has passed the bell and clapper to the Department for Internal Investigations & Prosecutions for more detailed forensic examination. 🐜 Ant […]
- [17.03 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-03-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 The Duck (you know the one) remains in a coma following Saturday’s incident. Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst visited him this afternoon and described his silence as “deafening”. She remains by his bedside. Anita Butler has begun a formal investigation into the circumstances surrounding the incident. 🐌 The Department for Official Records & Public Information has today released Part One of Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s personal account of his inaugural flight, which, for Human Subjects who have not yet read it, is the post […]
- [17.02 My Inaugural Flight (Part 1)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-02-my-inaugural-flight-part-1/): By Phileas Moss Esq. The sun itself seemed to know it was an auspicious day, casting as it did majestic shadows of The Carriage Shed’s great arches across the timeworn brickwork upon which my foot stood, while far above me the ironwork of the building’s glass roof stencilled stark geometric lines across the sapphire canvas of the cloudless September sky. In the distance, the hum of human endeavour, rattling wheels and squealing brakes continued as though it were an ordinary day, yet this was no ordinary day. With the last strap tied and final safety checks complete, one by one my […]
- [17.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/17-01-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🦆 The Duck (you know the one) is in intensive care at the Waterfowl Unit of The Earl of Chester Hospital following a serious incident at Saturday’s World Town Crier Tournament grand finale. Shortly before he was due to compete, the clapper from another crier’s ceremonial handbell became detached and struck him on the head. The competition was suspended while he was treated at the scene, before being airlifted to hospital by the North West Avian Air Ambulance Service. His condition is critical. […]
- [16.17 End of Week Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-17-end-of-week-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐌 The Department for Official Records & Public Information has agreed to release Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s account of Wednesday’s inaugural Flying Harness test next week. Anita Butler wishes to make it clear that reaching an altitude of 7.81cm does not constitute “a perilous ascent into the rarefied reaches of the upper atmosphere” and maintains that her version is more accurate. 🦡 Anita has also completed a risk assessment for Tiggy’s Feline Sedan Chair. Several additional safety recommendations have been made, including the […]
- [16.16 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-16-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🥪 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have admitted that, upon returning from Stoke-on-Trent following their failure of the course ‘Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace’, they ate the packed lunches belonging to Tiggy’s Feline Sedan Chair Bearers. Harley reports: “We were extremely hungry after being refused breakfast at the hotel, so, upon arriving back in Chester, were delighted to see the delicious-looking packed lunches laid out on Tiggy’s favourite bench. We honestly thought they were a […]
- [16.15 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-15-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐶 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis returned to Chester this afternoon after their premature departure from the Institute for Canine Statistical Studies following a series of incidents involving the consumption of course materials and subsequent failure of their course, ‘Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace’. Independent Adjudicator Mrs Constance Pickering has therefore decided to recruit agency staff to count the Employee of the Week (week-ending 12 June) ballot papers. The Department will remain on paper-free duties […]
- [16.14 World Town Crier Tournament Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-14-world-town-crier-tournament-update/): The Duck (you know the one) is delighted to announce that, having arrived at Eastgate Square this afternoon in full Town Crier costume, he has been accepted by host and Chester Town Crier David Mitchell (not that David Mitchell, THAT David Mitchell) as a late wildcard entry in the World Town Crier Tournament 2026. The Duck thoroughly enjoyed meeting today’s judging panel and will now take his place alongside the 25 other Town Criers from around the world for the grand finale in Chester on Saturday. He considers himself exceptionally strong in all four judging categories: vocal power, clarity, showmanship and […]
- [16.13 Missing Packed Lunches](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-13-missing-packed-lunches/): Tiggy’s four Feline Sedan Chair Bearers have just broken for lunch and discovered that their packed lunches (pictured) supplied by Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn have gone missing. The Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions has been informed and is investigating the matter. Any information that may lead to the discovery of the whereabouts of the packed lunches would be gratefully received. Anonymity guaranteed.
- [16.12 Food or Form? Course Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-12-food-or-form-course-update/): The Office regrets to report that Day Two of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis’s residential course, ‘Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace’, has not gone entirely according to plan. Following last night’s disagreement with the hotel regarding whether members of the Department should be classified as employees or pets, the Department slept on the reception floor and were subsequently refused access to the breakfast bar. Nevertheless, at 09:00, all members of the Department but Pepper reported for training at the Institute for Canine Statistical Studies. Pepper arrived at 09:12, having returned to the hotel […]
- [16.11 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-11-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐌 Mr Phileas Moss Esq has submitted his account of yesterday’s inaugural flight. The Department for Official Records & Public Information has recommended that the document should not be released to the public, citing concerns regarding what Mr Moss has referred to as “merely a little literary licence”. Human subjects who disagree with the decision are invited to register their views in the comments. If there is sufficient interest, the Department has agreed to reconsider its position. 🦆 The Duck (you know the […]
- [16.10 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-10-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed the day’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐌 Following this afternoon’s inaugural flying harness test, Mr Phileas Moss Esq. has retired to The Chester Station Tap to recuperate and compose his own account of events for his flying memoirs. So far, he has ordered a pint and a half of Slow Life Stout, a portion of frickles, and requested that the bar staff bring him additional writing paper. 🦆 Having observed a number of elaborately dressed humans making public proclamations in loud voices, the Duck (you know the one) has, […]
- [16.09 Flying Harness Test Flight – Report from Anita Butler](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-09-flying-harness-test-flight-report-from-anita-butler/): At 14:47, following final inspection of all webbing, attachment points and structural components, the pigeon pilot team commenced lift, raising Mr Moss first to 2.3cm and, upon stabilisation, to the pre-approved flight altitude of 4.27cm. All proceeded to plan until 5.6 seconds into flight, when a discarded prawn cocktail crisp packet was blown into Pigeon No. 3’s face by a north-westerly wind generated by Pigeon No. 2’s wing. Temporarily blinded, she sharply swung east. The unplanned manoeuvre swung Mr Moss 1.2% off course and propelled him into a self-perpetuating pendulum motion beneath the pilot team. The resulting force disengaged the harness’s […]
- [16.08 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-08-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐶 The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis departed Chester on the 07:32 to Stoke-on-Trent for their three-day residential course, ‘Food or Form? Advanced Document Recognition in the Modern Workplace’. Unfortunately, Toffee ate her ticket and missed the 07:32 while having it reprinted. She followed on the 08:32. 🪽 The Flying Harness Team reports considerable progress. Today the prototype will undergo its first fully suspended load-bearing test. Project Safety Officer Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) has approved Mr Moss, in his flying […]
- [16.07 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-07-evening-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this evening’s departmental records and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐜 Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst notes that the Staff Census has recommenced without incident, with ants duly completing their Staff Census forms before moving on to the audition queue. Her assistant, the Duck (you know the one), has once again been using his PA system to address the queueing ants. Mrs Peckhurst has requested that he refrain from doing so unless he has something useful to say. The Duck counters that everything he says is useful. ⛪ Construction of the Wee Parasol Cathedral has […]
- [16.06 Socks Takes Over Domestic Duties](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-06-socks-takes-over-domestic-duties/): With Tiggy back at work, Socks has taken over the domestic duties.
- [16.05 Meet the Judges](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-05-meet-the-judges/): With auditions for the Chester Station Synchronised Tap & Parasol Ant Dance Company underway, the Office is pleased to introduce the judging panel: 🕷️ Julian Mercer, Choreographer Julian has enjoyed a distinguished career in dance, both as a performer and choreographer, including six seasons as Lead Choreographer on Strictly Come Prancing. Prior to this, he spent several years performing aboard international cruise liners as a backing dancer for singing legend Jane McDonald. In his spare time, Julian enjoys watercolour painting and completing cryptic crosswords with his husband, Miles Mercer, who is currently working on Phileas Moss’s Flying Harness Engineering Team as […]
- [16.04 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-04-morning-report/): Tiggy has reviewed this morning’s departmental reports and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐈 Tiggy wishes to correct yesterday’s assumption that, upon leaving home, she spent the morning at Chester Station. In fact, she briefly popped into the station before reporting for duty at the nearby Tramways Student Accommodation. Tiggy previously undertook extensive rat-catching training at Tramways before transferring to Chester Station and has decided to return in an advisory capacity to welcome the new students starting the academic year. Whether this represents a temporary appointment or whether Tiggy intends to expand the remit of The […]
- [16.03 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-03-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🗳️ Independent Adjudicator Mrs Constance Pickering’s risk assessment into the potential consumption of ballot papers by the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis remains ongoing. In the meantime, the ballot papers have been moved to a secure location, which has not been disclosed to the departmental staff. Toffee is hugely disappointed that the ballot paper count has been further delayed and has spent the afternoon counting ants instead. She says there are 42. She is wrong. 🐀 Tiggy held her working lunch with […]
- [16.02 Health & Safety (Ant Division) Strike Ends!](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-02-health-safety-ant-division-strike-ends/): Following clarification from Wee Tap Shoes R Us regarding the number of shoe sets contained within the 143-box consignment, and confirmation that all ants will be given a fair opportunity to audition, members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) have agreed to return to work. In accordance with the agreement, every single ant will be given the opportunity to audition for the Chester Station Synchronised Tap & Parasol Ant Dance Company, which will consist of: ☂️ First Troupe: 4,826 places 👞 Reserve Troupe: 8,722 places This means that 13,548 of the 14,873 members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) will ultimately […]
- [16.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/16-01-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. 🐈 Following a week of officially sanctioned sick leave, Tiggy has resumed her duties. Her Personal Private Secretary wishes it to be recorded that opening the much beleaguered cat flap did not necessarily constitute formal authorisation to return to work. Tiggy, as ever, pleases herself and, according to her tracker, proceeded directly towards Chester Station. 🐌 Phileas Moss Esq.’s Flying Harness Engineering Team are waiting at The Carriage Shed for Phileas to arrive for another prototype harness fitting. He is understood to have left […]
- [15.14 End of Week Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-14-end-of-week-report/): Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters Luther has completed this evening’s patrol and reports that all remains broadly under control. The Employee of the Week ballot papers remain with Independent Adjudicator, Mrs Constance Pickering pending the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis’s clearance to count. All team members, with the exception of Toffee (who ate hers), have provided the necessary documentation. Toffee thanks human subjects who asked after her digestive comfort but assures all that, having previously successfully ingested far more indigestible things, she is feeling fine and is eagerly awaiting her replacement CC2C-ob form so the counting […]
- [15.13 Case Update: Wee Parasols](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-13-case-update-wee-parasols/): Following further questioning of Station Rats A & B, the mystery of how 628 Standard Issue Wee Parasols came to be found in Mr Moss’s Travelling Tote has been solved. Rat B admits that, on the morning after the Health & Safety (Ant Division) celebrations at Chester Station Tap following their successful execution of a synchronised quadruple somersault with parasols fully extended, he collected the Wee Parasols left behind intending to hand them in to Lost Property. On his way, however, he made the ill-advised decision to visit Rat A, then serving a 34-day sentence at Chester Station Small Mammal Jail. […]
- [15:12 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/1512-morning-report/): Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional & Strategic Matters Luther has completed today’s Morning Patrol and confirms that all remains broadly under control. Mrs Constance Pickering, Independent Adjudicator from the Cheshire & Warrington Employee Recognition Ballot Standards Authority, has arrived at Chester Station and taken possession of the sealed Employee of the Week ballot papers. She is verifying the Clearance to Count credentials of the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis. Unfortunately, Toffee has eaten her Form CC2C-ob (Certificate of Clearance to Count in Official Ballots). A delay to counting is therefore anticipated. The Department for Internal Investigations & Procedures (DIIP) […]
- [15.11 All Remains Broadly Under Control - A Definition](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-12-all-remains-broadly-under-control-a-definition/): Following recent events, one has taken pause to consider the precise meaning of “All Remains Broadly Under Control” and can confirm the correct interpretation is as follows: A state in which, while minor incidents, administrative irregularities, interdepartmental disputes, missing paperwork, striking and/or dancing ants, flappy pigeons, grandiose ducks, peripatetic snails, occasional criminal rat activity and such like may occur, a sufficiently competent member of staff is available to maintain full oversight of events and thus ensure that none of the aforementioned develop into anything requiring undue concern.* Accordingly, one is pleased to announce that one’s esteemed Independent Senior Adviser for Constitutional […]
- [15.10 Re: Morning Patrol - 16 September 2026](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-11-re-morning-patrol-16-september-2026/): Dear Tiggy, Please accept my apologies for not having communicated sooner; however, one has been fully occupied. Shortly after departure yesterday, I encountered the Duck (you know the one), a most interesting and erudite fellow, I must say. His outlook rather reminded me of a spectacled caiman named Professor Alistair Fitzwilliam, with whom I once spent several fascinating weeks surveying tributaries of the Rio Negro. Fitzwilliam maintained that no expedition could commence until its geographical parameters had been agreed by all concerned, a position which resulted in our spending six days in camp attempting to agree precisely where we were proposing […]
- [15.09 Formal Request for Progress Report - Morning Patrol 16/09](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-09-formal-request-for-progress-report-morning-patrol-16-09/): To: Mr Phileas Moss Esq. One notes that, despite your having departed yesterday at 10.30am aboard your Travelling Trolley for the purpose of undertaking the Morning Patrol, as of 10am this morning (17/09) neither the corresponding Morning Report nor any explanation for its absence has been received. One appreciates that unexpected circumstances may occasionally arise; however, one expects that, should such circumstances occur, any anticipated delays are communicated in a timely fashion. Accordingly, please provide: 1. Your present location; 2. Areas inspected; 3. Details of any matters encountered requiring one’s attention; 4. Your anticipated time of completion; and 5. Whether or […]
- [15.08 Socks' Hunting Skills](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-08-socks-hunting-skills/): Having failed to impress Tiggy with her nursing credentials, Socks has decided to demonstrate her hunting skills…Tiggy remains unimpressed.
- [15.07 Behind the Scenes](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-07-behind-the-scenes/): Socks has insisted on editing her latest video – there may be a short delay while she gets to grips with the software…
- [15.06 Home Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-06-home-update/): Socks has been captured playing dress-up in an attempt to ingratiate herself with Tiggy. Unfortunately, Tiggy is not amused by the young imposter…and insists the bed belongs to her and nocat else!
- [15.05 Morning Patrol - Departure Notice from Phileas Moss Esq.](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-05-morning-patrol-departure-notice-from-phileas-moss-esq/): Before we begin, I should like to remind all that a successful patrol, like any expedition of consequence, begins with a well-rested and well-equipped traveller, as I learnt to my detriment during an arduous assignment in the Erg Chebbi dunes, where I found myself sheltering from the tyrannical Saharan sun beneath the label of a discarded bottle of Orangina – a perilous predicament with which, while I believe I have previously furnished you the bones, I have not fully expanded upon… I was travelling with a most agreeable dung beetle (Scarabaeus satyrus) named Idris and we had stopped at dusk for […]
- [15.04 Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-04-update/): Mrs Peckhurst regrets that she has been unable to complete Tiggy’s morning patrol, largely due to the Duck (you know the one), who appointed himself Assistant Temporary Morning Patrol Officer and challenged her interpretation of “broadly under control” at every turn. Health & Safety (Ant Division) remain on strike inside their Wee Parasol Cathedral while it is still unclear how many complete Six-Foot Professional Sets and Standard Four-Foot Dancing Sets there are, and so how many places are available in the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe. Mrs Peckhurst considered this broadly under control, but the Duck pointed out that, as […]
- [15.03 Morning Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-03-morning-update/): Tiggy would like to reassure human subjects that, following a good night’s sleep, she is feeling much better this morning and is currently relaxing in a patch of sunshine. She would like to say a huge thank you for the many lovely messages and well-wishes she received yesterday. She is extremely touched by everyone’s concern. Tiggy remains officially on sick leave and has been instructed to take things easy for the next few days – she appears to be interpreting this instruction very literally. In her absence, Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs, Flying Mammals, Staff […]
- [15.02 Official Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-02-official-notice/): Tiggy’s Personal Private Secretary was called to Chester Station this afternoon after Tiggy suffered a seizure while on duty. To reassure her public, while very sporadic, Tiggy has had seizures before, so staff had medication on hand to be administered. She also underwent full bloodwork and vet checks last time she had a seizure in May and was declared to be in otherwise fine fettle (if a little rotund…ahem!). Tiggy was brought safely home today and, following a long sleep, is feeling much better. She will, however, be staying at home for the next few days for some rest and careful […]
- [15.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/15-01-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Mrs Peckhurst has located the paperwork accompanying the 143-box consignment from Wee Tap Shoes R Us, which confirms it contains 63,847 Wee Tap Shoes. Unfortunately, there is no breakdown of how many are for front, middle or rear feet, nor whether they form Complete Six-Foot Professional Sets, Standard Four-Foot Dancing Sets, or a mixture. Emmeline is attempting to contact Wee Tap Shoes R Us; however, their Wee telephone lines are very busy. The 14,873 striking ants are said to be becoming increasingly frustrated and […]
- [14.19 Poor Toffee](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-18-poor-toffee/): Poor Toffee is down in the dumps because she’s hurt her back, luckily she’s got her new bestie to snuggle up with (let’s not dwell on the fact that it was an over-enthusiastic game with the bestie that caused the injury).
- [14.18 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-18-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. It is hoped there may be a breakthrough in the Health & Safety (Ant Division) strike after Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst checked to be sure that somebody had thought to review the paperwork accompanying the 143-box consignment from Wee Tap Shoes R Us for details of the number of tap shoes contained therein. Upon discovering that nobody had, to date, thought of this, Emmeline is working over the weekend to locate the paperwork. Humans visiting the station over the weekend are advised she is becoming […]
- [14.17 The Toilet Roll](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-17-the-toilet-roll/): It remains unclear who unravelled the toilet roll…although there are suspicions.
- [14.16 Letter to the Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions.](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-16-letter-to-the-department-of-internal-investigations-prosecutions/): To the Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions, I feel it is my duty to bring to your attention a conversation I happened to overhear yesterday afternoon while at Chester Station for Tiggy’s stained-glass-window sitting. I was just readying my sketching supplies and waiting for Tiggy to grace me with her presence when I heard a small but fierce voice say: “I came up with a perfectly simple scheme for you to make us both a bit of cash and, as usual, you somehow managed to screw it up.” But it was the second voice that particularly caught my attention, as […]
- [14.15 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-15-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. The judging panel conducting auditions for the Health & Safety (Ant Division) Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe has issued an urgent appeal to all 14,873 ants to end their strike following confirmation that a preliminary video tryout for Ants Have Talent 2027 has been secured. The panel has warned that unless auditions can commence shortly, the opportunity may be lost. The ants remain on strike inside their partially constructed Wee Parasol Cathedral over plans to allocate troupe places on a first-come, first-served basis […]
- [14.14 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-14-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn arrived at Chester Station this afternoon for Tiggy’s first sitting for the stained-glass window she has commissioned herself to create. Tiggy remained suitably stately for much of the sitting – although was distracted at times by a startled starling flapping around in the station rafters. Mrs D-L luckily had small morsels of rosemary-infused butter-poached lobster on hand to refocus Tiggy as necessary. Senior Risk Assessment Officer Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) has continued her inspection of the pulley system following […]
- [14.13 Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions: Standard Issue Wee Parasol Investigation - Update](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-13-department-of-internal-investigations-prosecutions-standard-issue-wee-parasol-investigation-update/): The Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions confirms that its investigation into how hundreds of Standard Issue Wee Parasols lost at The Chester Station Tap on the night Health & Safety (Ant Division) were celebrating their successful 26-ant synchronised quadruple somersault with parasols fully extended came to be found in Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq.’s Travelling Tote remains ongoing. Mr Moss has been fully cleared of any involvement and has been returned his Travelling Tote, although the documentation originally contained within remains missing. Station Rat B, who was taken in for questioning after attempting to sell Standard Issue Wee Parasols to […]
- [14.12 Notice - Employee of the Week (Week Ending 12 June) - Voting Has Now Closed](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-12-notice-employee-of-the-week-week-ending-12-june-voting-has-now-closed/): Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst, Interim Assistant Deputy Acting Head of Avian Affairs, Flying Mammals, Staff Census & Postal Ballot Administration (Platforms 5/6), confirms that voting in the Employee of the Week postal ballot for the week ending 12 June 2026 has now closed. Human subjects are thanked for their incredible patience during what has become an increasingly protracted period of voting, but are reminded that with the huge number of votes cast by a vast range of species over the past three months, the closure of the vote does not indicate that a result is expected any time soon. Alongside their existing […]
- [14.11 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-11-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Following confirmation of Tiggy’s direct descent from Lady Tigridia, Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn has commissioned herself to create a stained-glass window featuring Tiggy as a companion piece to the newly discovered one of Lady Tigridia in Chester Cathedral. The window will be paid for by Mrs D-L, who is expected at Chester Station today for Tiggy’s first sitting. All 14,873 Health & Safety (Ant Division) ants, aside from Senior Risk Assessment Officer Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351), remain on strike and continue their occupation […]
- [14.10 Sock' Second Piano Lesson](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-10-sock-second-piano-lesson/): Progress is not always linear. Maestro Toffee became a little frustrated with her pupil today. The pupil has requested a new teacher.
- [14.09 Incident Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-09-incident-report/): INCIDENT REPORT: Montgomery Burrows here, reporting live in the aftermath of a dramatic incident outside the north transept of the Wee Parasol Cathedral around twenty minutes ago. Station Rat A was an eyewitness. A, what happened? “I was taking a break from cleaning gum from Tiggy’s favourite bench when I noticed that one of the ropes being used by the ants to hoist donated sugar into the Cathedral was frayed. Before I could alert anyone – SNAP! Several bags of sugar crashed to the ground and, just like that, Dr Wycliffe and the duck (you know the one) were buried in […]
- [14.08 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-08-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Supplies of sugar have begun arriving outside the north transept of the Wee Parasol Cathedral following yesterday’s appeal by the 14,873 striking ants. Health & Safety (Ant Division) have expressed their gratitude to the public for their support. Station Rat A has recommenced his community service under the supervision of the Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene and is presently engaged in removing chewing gum, bird droppings and other undesirable deposits from station property. Close supervision is being maintained to ensure that no opportunities […]
- [14.07 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-07-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Having completed his 34-day custodial sentence for his part in the fraudulent street-food licensing operation, Station Rat A was today released from custody. His outstanding community service order has now recommenced, together with the additional 120 hours imposed by the Court of Tiggy as part of his most recent sentence. The 14,873 ants currently occupying the Wee Parasol Cathedral have issued an appeal for emergency supplies of sugar. Members of the public wishing to support the industrial action are requested to leave donations outside […]
- [14.06 Notice from Mrs Emmeline Peckhurst](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-06-notice-from-mrs-emmeline-peckhurst/): Mrs Peckhurst wishes to remind all concerned that postal ballot papers for Employee of the Week for the week ending 12th June must be returned by Thursday at noon. She would further like to clarify that her earlier instruction to the Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis to ‘clear their desk’ was meant metaphorically, not physically. Accordingly, would they please return everything back to its usual place.
- [14.05 Meet the Team](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-05-meet-the-team/): MEET THE TEAM: Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. is pleased to introduce his newly appointed multidisciplinary Flying Harness Engineering Team – Miles Mercer – Materials & Webbing Engineer Miles is a highly experienced webbing engineer with a specialism in building lightweight, high load-bearing structures. He will take responsibility for harness webbing, attachment points and the supply and construction of all necessary fabrics and textiles required for the project. Dr Conrad Vesper – Flight Systems Adviser (Night Flight & Navigation Specialist) Bringing considerable practical experience of sustained flight in darkness and low-light conditions, Dr Vesper will advise on aerodynamics and nocturnal operations. […]
- [14.04 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-04-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that everything remains broadly under control. The situation within the Wee Parasol Cathedral is unchanged with all 14,873 members of Health & Safety (Ant Division) remaining inside refusing either to complete their Staff Census forms or audition for the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe. Construction of the cathedral has also ceased. The Duck (you know the one) is outside the Wee Parasol Cathedral addressing the ants via his PA system. It is not presently clear whether he is attempting to resolve the industrial dispute or opportunistically preaching to a […]
- [14.03 Notice](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-03-notice/): There will be no Evening Report as Tiggy is currently assessing both the Wee Parasol Cathedral and the situation surrounding the industrial action occurring within it. In its place, Tiggy has authorised the release of Socks’ First Piano Lesson: Part One, which took place this weekend under the instruction of Maestro Toffee. The lesson covered the difference between the black and white keys – Toffee reports that Socks was a surprisingly attentive student…
- [14.02 Breaking News - Ants Stage Sit-In at Wee Parasol Cathedral](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-02-breaking-news-ants-stage-sit-in-at-wee-parasol-cathedral/): By Montgomery Burrows, Senior Associate Deputy Investigative Correspondent for Underground, Small Mammal & General Station Affairs A remarkable scale model of Chester Cathedral, constructed from Standard Issue Wee Parasols by The Office of Tiggy’s Health & Safety (Ant Division), has become the scene of industrial action, with all 14,873 builders staging a sit-in inside the half-finished construction. The ants originally began building the Cathedral simply to occupy themselves while awaiting resolution of the dispute between Mrs Peckhurst and the Synchronised Tap & Parasol Dance Troupe audition panel over whether they could audition before completing their Staff Census forms. Unfortunately, a compromise […]
- [14.01 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/14-01-morning-report/): MORNING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and can confirm that all remains broadly under control. A number of human subjects have alerted the Office to reports of an armadillo called Stanley who has escaped from a zoo in East Sussex. What is less widely known is that Tiggy has strong ties to the area, having moved from East Sussex to Chester shortly before taking up her current position at Chester Station. Tiggy has confirmed that she does know Stanley, and has appealed for him to return home. Meanwhile, it has been confirmed that the migratory anteaters reported last week […]
- [13.14 End of Week Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-14-end-of-week-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Routine measurements for the ants’ Standard Issue Wee Parasol scale model of Chester Cathedral have resulted in the discovery of a previously unrecorded stained-glass window depicting Lady Tigridia of Chester (c. 1552–1567), potentially a direct ancestor of Tiggy. A document found alongside it identifies Lady Tigridia as a prime suspect in an unsolved murder dating from 1556. Tiggy has ordered the 470-year-old investigation be reopened. Her annual twelve-herring stipend is also being investigated; Tiggy is hopeful that it was hereditary. Alongside the earlier reports […]
- [13.13 Archaeological Discovery](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-13-archaeological-discovery/): The Office has been informed that, while taking measurements of Chester Cathedral for their Standard Issue Wee Parasol scale model, a team of ants from Health & Safety (Ant Division) have made an unexpected discovery. Simon Turner (Ant No. 380), Senior Structural Adviser, said, “Whilst measuring a little-used passage adjoining the cloisters, I noticed a discrepancy between our internal and external measurements. The discrepancy warranted further investigation, revealing a void behind timber panelling which appears to date from Tudor times. To my great surprise, within the void I discovered a previously unrecorded stained-glass window depicting a strikingly Tiggy-like feline.” The work […]
- [13.12 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-12-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Considerable progress has been made on the ants’ scale model of Chester Cathedral, constructed entirely from Standard Issue Wee Parasols. The central tower is now beginning to take shape, although work has been temporarily suspended, with the ants taking shelter in the north transept following reports of migratory anteaters heading in the general direction of Chester. It is not yet known if these reports are true. Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) has completed her initial assessment of Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s revised flying harness […]
- [13.11 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-11-evening-report/): EVENING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351) has begun considering Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s revised flying harness design, incorporating two half-pint Inflight Pint Plinths for improved stability and weight distribution. Anita has indicated that approval of the Inflight Pint Plinths will be conditional upon Mr Moss agreeing that only 0% beer may be consumed whilst airborne. Mr Moss is considering his position. The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have made limited progress with their elastic-band ball, mainly due to a lack of […]
- [13.10 Socks and her youngest Hooman.](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-10-socks-and-her-youngest-hooman/)
- [13.09 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-09-morning-report/): MORNING REPORT: Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Following concerns raised by human subjects regarding the stability and weight distribution of his proposed flying harness, Mr Phileas Moss Esq. has submitted a revised design for consideration by Anita Butler (Ant No. 14,351). The new design incorporates two half-pint Inflight Pint Plinths, positioned on either side of Mr Moss, in place of the previously proposed single pint arrangement. Mr Moss believes this satisfactorily addresses the issue. The Department for Human Behaviour & Statistical Analysis have returned from the racecourse and are […]
- [13.08 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-08-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. A number of applications have been received from prospective members of the engineering team for Mr Moss’s harness. Applicants are reminded that experience in aeronautical engineering, lightweight load-bearing structures and/or molluscan passenger transport is required. A minimum Level 2 National Qualification in Applied Avian Propelled Flight Mechanics (NQ-AAPFM), or equivalent, is desirable. A number of time-wasting applications have been received. Please note: GCSE Design & Technology and extensive experience of Microsoft Flight Simulator are not valid qualifications for the position. The Department of Custodial […]
- [13.07 Tiggy's Birthday Weekend - Part Two](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-07-tiggys-birthday-weekend-part-two/): Following the presentation of the keys to the port of Boulogne-sur-Mer, Tiggy was invited to accompany Monsieur Lefèvre on a private fishing expedition aboard the local vessel, Le Tiggy (renamed in Tiggy’s honour). Tiggy enthusiastically accepted. Once at sea, Tiggy was shown the fishing equipment and techniques employed by the Boulogne fishing fleet…Tiggy quickly concluded that fishing was boring and decided to have a wash. She then had a nap. The fishing expedition was subsequently abandoned and the party returned to shore for luncheon of freshly landed sole meunière with butter-poached lobster, Velvet Swimming Crabs and black truffle pommes purée, overlooking […]
- [13.06 TO: Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-06-to-department-of-internal-investigations-prosecutions/): FROM: Mr Phileas Moss Esq. My dear colleagues, I write further to the quite extraordinary discovery of several hundred Standard Issue Wee Parasols within my recently recovered Travelling Tote. Those familiar with the journals of the great explorers will know that the disappearance and subsequent reappearance of expeditionary equipment is by no means without precedent. I am reminded of an incident during an expedition through the Carpathians in which my own suitcase – or ‘valise’, as I rather preferred to refer to it – disappeared from my person, only to reappear in a tavern some miles away inexplicably containing two cabbages, […]
- [13.05 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-5/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Following Anita Butler’s Preliminary Safety Assessment, Mr Phileas Moss Esq. will today begin recruiting an engineering team to construct his proposed flying harness. Mr Moss shall personally conduct interviews in The Chester Station Tap Room. Applications should be submitted via The Department for Careers & Recruitment. Interested parties should have experience in aeronautical engineering, lightweight load-bearing structures and/or molluscan passenger transport. A minimum Level 2 National Qualification in Applied Avian Propelled Flight Mechanics (NQ-AAPFM), or equivalent, is desirable. No time wasters please! Toffee’s attempts […]
- [13.04 Health & Safety (Ant Division): Preliminary Safety Assessment](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-04-health-safety-ant-division-preliminary-safety-assessment/): SUBJECT: Proposed Flying Harness – Mr Phileas Moss Esq.Assessing Officer: Anita Butler, Ant No. 14,351 Following consultation with Mr Moss and an inspection of the preliminary designs for his proposed flying harness, I have concluded that the project may proceed to the engineering stage, subject to the following safety requirements: 1. The harness must provide secure full-body and shell support to Mr Moss Esq. at all times, regardless of whether Mr Moss is fully inside, partially or fully extended from his shell. 2. Appropriate head and antenna protection must be worn whenever Mr Moss’s head is extended beyond the protection of […]
- [13.03 A Belated Birthday Announcement](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/13-03-a-belated-birthday-announcement/): Yesterday was Buzzy’s 15th Birthday. Unfortunately, not being a dog person, Mrs Gladys M. Dillwyn-Llewelyn made no arrangements whatsoever to mark the occasion. Buzzy is still looking out for a helicopter. In an attempt to cheer Buzz up, Tiggy has announced a celebratory 15% off everything in The Office of Tiggy Shop (excluding pre-orders of The Official Tiggy 2027 Calendar) until Sunday 6 September. Use code BUZZY15 at the checkout. Tiggy is also pleased to announce, in further celebration of Buzzy’s birthday, that much of the Official Tiggy range is now available featuring Tiggy in a choice of colour or Standard […]
- [13.02 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/morning-report-4/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Phileas Moss Esq. has submitted his statement concerning the discovery of hundreds of Standard Issue Wee Parasols inside his Travelling Tote. The Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions (DIIP) is considering his detailed report. In the meantime he, his Travelling Tote and his Travelling Trolley remain at the Chester Station Tap where work continues on designing his flying harness. Anita Butler, Ant No. 14,351, is expected to submit her preliminary safety assessment of the scheme shortly. Following Toffee’s count of 214.5 of 217 paperclips, […]
- [13.01 Sock's Scalextric](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/socks-scalextric/): As it’s a Bank Holiday weekend, Socks is enjoying a little downtime with her Scalextric.
- [12.18 Evening Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-18-evening-report/): Tiggy has completed her evening patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq.’s travelling trolley remains parked outside the Chester Station Tap this evening. It is assumed he is inside writing reports. It remains unknown how his Travelling Tote came to contain hundreds of Standard Issue Wee Parasols. Station Rat B is still being questioned. The Duck (you know the one) has today addressed ants in the Staff Census queue on the importance of following rules. His consideration of precisely when movement becomes dancing has subsequently developed into a discourse on the […]
- [12.17 Socks Aptitude Assessment (CAT): Training Exercise 6.3](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-17-socks-aptitude-assessment-cat-training-exercise-6-3/): Module 3c: Interspecies Relations (Rabbit) Socks has today been introduced to Milo from Upstairs as part of her ongoing aptitude assessments. Initial observations are that Socks was considerably more interested in Milo’s broccoli than Milo. The Department for Careers & Recruitment is reviewing the results.
- [12.16 Official Transcript: Ongoing](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-16-official-transcript-ongoing/): Following recent concerns regarding the adherence to rules, the Duck (you know the one) has been addressing the ants in the Staff Census queue on the importance of rules. The Office has obtained the following partial transcript. DUCK: …let’s now consider a real-world rule. There is a rule that ants must not dance while waiting in the Staff Census queue. This appears straightforward, but when does movement become dance? If two ants move four feet in time, is that movement or dancing? How about if seven ants move one leg in time? Or if one ant does a double somersault… [PAUSE] […]
- [12.15 Morning Report](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-15-morning-report/): Tiggy has completed her morning patrol and is pleased to report that all remains broadly under control. Field Operative Phileas Moss Esq. has been permitted to leave the Department of Internal Investigations & Prosecutions (DIIP) following questioning regarding the Standard Issue Wee Parasols discovered inside his travelling tote. He is now travelling back to the Chester Station Tap on his travelling trolley, where he will write a full written report on how he has no knowledge of how the wee parasols came to be inside his travelling tote. Toffee has completed her count of the 217 paperclips. She has submitted a […]
- [12.14 Official Announcement - The 2027 Office of Tiggy Calendar](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-14-official-announcement-the-2027-office-of-tiggy-calendar/): Following the careful selection of photographs, the editing of layouts, ensuring that Tiggy appears an appropriate number of times, and that all necessary written information is included, Tiggy’s Personal Private Secretary is delighted to announce that the Official Tiggy 2027 Calendar is now available to pre-order. Featuring 12 months of Tiggy, the calendar also includes important dates from the Official Record, Office anniversaries, details of both upcoming and past Office events, and a number of important official advisories. Tiggy has personally inspected the design and is so pleased with the result that she has already pre-ordered 20 copies for her office. […]
- [12.13 The Staff Relaxation Pod](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/12-13-the-staff-relaxation-pod/): Buzz has located a newly installed staff relaxation pod. Toffee thinks it is for cats and says Buzz is too big for it. Buzz remains unconvinced and intends to continue trying to fit into it.

## Pages

- [Support Katherine](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/support-katherine/): Despite appearances, The Office of Tiggy is not made up of a team of writers, researchers, photographers, designers and an Avian & Mollusc Character Development Advisory Board… it is, in fact, just me. I write every post and comment, answer every message and email, build and maintain the website, create the artwork, and design, print, package and dispatch every item of merchandise. I LOVE doing it, but it does take an enormous amount of time, effort, thought and creativity. Be assured, nothing is going behind a paywall. The stories will remain free for everyone to read and enjoy. Following, commenting, sharing, […]
- [Delivery, Returns & Refunds](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/refund_returns/): We want your Office of Tiggy order to reach you safely and for you to be happy with your purchase. The information below explains how delivery, cancellations, returns and refunds work. Dispatch Office of Tiggy merchandise is produced and packed in small quantities, with some items printed to order in Chester. Orders are normally dispatched within 3–5 working days of your order being placed. During particularly busy periods we may occasionally need a little longer. If there is likely to be a significant delay with your order, we will contact you. UK Delivery Delivery charges are calculated automatically at checkout according […]
- [Terms & Conditions](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/terms-conditions/): Last updated: 10 August 2026 These Terms & Conditions apply to purchases made from The Office of Tiggy through tiggythecat.co.uk. The Office of Tiggy is operated by Katherine Wells trading as The Office of Tiggy, 1 Belgrave Street, Chester, CH1 3DF, United Kingdom. Email: tiggy@tiggythecat.co.uk 1. About The Office of Tiggy The Office of Tiggy sells official merchandise associated with Tiggy – Chester Station Cat and The Office of Tiggy. All products are offered subject to availability. We may occasionally amend, withdraw or replace products or designs. 2. Products We take reasonable care to describe and photograph our products accurately. However, […]
- [Public Briefings](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/public-briefings/)
- [My account](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/my-account/)
- [Checkout](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/checkout/)
- [Cart](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/cart/)
- [Contact](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/contact/): Contact the Office Correspondence from human subjects is welcomed. General enquiries, observations and reports concerning rodents, birds or other administrative matters may be sent to: tiggy@tiggythecat.co.uk Receive Official Correspondence
- [The Office of Tiggy Shop](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/shop/): The Office of Tiggy official merchandise is created to help support the writing and publication of the continuing adventures of Tiggy – Chester Station Cat. Every item is designed and printed in Chester by Tiggy’s Personal Private Secretary, and each purchase helps keep human subjects informed of the latest news, investigations and developments from Chester Station, while contributing towards Tiggy’s sustenance, health & welfare and, naturally, her strictly controlled snack budget. Importantly, 10% of profits from all official merchandise are donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073) to help other cats in the area. Thank you for supporting […]
- [Careers](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/careers-with-the-office/)
- [Characters](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/personnel/)
- [Departments](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/departments-office/)
- [Official Record (Archives)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/official-record/): The Official Record is the complete archive of proceedings from The Office of Tiggy. Browse by week to follow the story as it first appeared on Facebook as Tiggy – Chester Station Cat, from the opening of the Office to the public through to the present day. Please note that while the archive shall be updated regularly, those wishing to remain fully abreast of the latest developments should continue to follow Tiggy – Chester Station Cat, on Facebook, where official announcements and updates are always issued in the first instance. Subscribe Receive occasional correspondence when additional weeks are archived or significant […]
- [The Office of Tiggy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/): Welcome to the Office of Tiggy – the administrative headquarters for Tiggy FRCRS*, Chester Station’s Chief Rat Catcher and Inspector of Human Behaviour (Self-Appointed). The Office oversees a growing number of departments, personnel, constitutional and administrative matters related to Tiggy’s day-to-day work at Chester Station. This website serves as the permanent archive of official proceedings, alerts, incidents, and any other events that may arise in the course of governance. New human subjects are encouraged to begin with the Official Record (Archive), where proceedings may be reviewed in their proper chronological order from the opening of the Office to the human public […]
- [Privacy & Cookie Policy](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/privacy-policy/): Last updated: 10 August 2026 This Privacy & Cookie Policy explains how The Office of Tiggy collects, uses and protects personal information when you visit tiggythecat.co.uk, contact us or purchase from our online shop. It also explains how cookies and similar technologies are used on the website. The Office of Tiggy is operated by: Katherine Wells trading as The Office of Tiggy1 Belgrave StreetChesterCH1 3DFUnited Kingdom Email: tiggy@tiggythecat.co.uk 1. Information We Collect Depending on how you use the website, we may collect information including: We only collect information that is reasonably necessary for operating the website, processing orders, providing customer service, […]

## Products

- [Christmas Card - Pick 1](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/tiggy-christmas-cards-individual-card/): Celebrate Christmas with The Office of Tiggy! Choose your favourite from four original Christmas card designs, featuring Tiggy and some of the much-loved characters from her adventures at Chester Station. Each card is A6 in size, printed on quality 350gsm card and supplied with a kraft envelope. Choose from four designs: Merry Tiggymas! – Tiggy’s festive portrait ‘Tis the Season to Give (to Tiggy) – Tiggy with her Christmas present Season’s Greetings – Tiggy and the Office staff Phileas Moss – Festivities are cleared for take-off! Inside greetings: Merry Tiggymas! (two designs): May your festivities remain broadly under control. Group Character […]
- [Christmas Cards - Pick 4](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/4-christmas-cards-create-your-collection/): Celebrate Christmas with The Office of Tiggy! Create your own collection of four Christmas cards from our four original designs, featuring Tiggy and some of the much-loved characters from her adventures at Chester Station. Choose any combination you like, whether that’s one of each design, four of your favourite, or anything in between! Each card is A6 in size, printed on quality 350gsm card and supplied with a kraft envelope. Inside greetings: Merry Tiggymas! (two designs): May your festivities remain broadly under control. Group Character Card: Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. Phileas Moss: Head directly to your nearest hospitality establishment […]
- [Christmas Card Collection - 4 Pack](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/tiggy-christmas-cards-complete-collection-pack-of-4/): Celebrate Christmas with The Office of Tiggy! This special collection includes all four original Christmas card designs, featuring Tiggy and some of the much-loved characters from her adventures at Chester Station. Each card is A6 in size, printed on quality 350gsm card and supplied with a kraft envelope. Inside greetings: Merry Tiggymas! (two designs): May your festivities remain broadly under control. Group Character Card: Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. Phileas Moss: Head directly to your nearest hospitality establishment (with notable vigour!). This pack contains one of each of the four designs. 10% of profits are donated to Chester Kitty Cat […]
- [The Official Tiggy Fridge Magnet (Colour)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/the-official-tiggy-fridge-magnet-colour/): The Official Tiggy Fridge Magnet features Tiggy, Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour, FRCRS. Perfect for fridges, filing cabinets and other magnetic surfaces requiring close managerial oversight. Details: Approx. 6 × 9 cm Soft magnetic backing Individually printed in Chester Suitable for fridges and other magnetic surfaces 10% of profits from The Office of Tiggy merchandise are donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073).
- [The Office of Tiggy 2027 Calendar](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/the-office-of-tiggy-2027-calendar/): Keep 2027 broadly under control with the first official Office of Tiggy calendar. AVAILABLE TO ORDER NOW The first print run of The Office of Tiggy 2027 Calendar has now been completed and will be dispatched to those who pre-ordered from Monday 14 September. PRINT RUN #2 — DISPATCH BY 12 OCTOBER 2026 Orders placed now will be allocated to Print Run #2, which will be dispatched by 12 October 2026, or earlier depending on demand. Featuring 12 months of Tiggy, Office Advisories, staff birthdays and other important dates and essential events from across the Office – including dates for Hibernation […]
- [The Phileas Moss Esq. Mission #1 Travelling Tote (Standard Issue)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/the-phileas-moss-esq-mission-1-travelling-tote-standard-issue1/): Issued by the Department for Foreign Affairs & International Relations, this official Mission #1 tote was originally commissioned for Field Operative Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s first assignment to procure an avian translation expert from an organisation believed to exist in the Upton area of Chester. Lightweight and well-suited to shopping missions as well as field trips, this tote features deliberately faded print to give the appearance of a well-travelled piece of equipment. 100% natural cotton canvas (4oz) Size: approx. 15 × 16.5 inches Handle length: approx. 25.5 inches Warning: Whilst perfectly suitable for transporting ants and, subject to an appropriate risk assessment, […]
- [The Office of Tiggy Mug (Standard Issue or Colour)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/standard-issue-tiggy-mug/): This mug features the Office logo on one side and Tiggy’s official image (in colour or green) on the other, and  is the perfect vessel from which to sip your chosen beverage whilst catching up with the latest happenings from the Office or re-reading one of Mr Phileas Moss Esq.’s characteristically lengthy memoranda. The Department for Cleaning & Environmental Hygiene confirms that the mug is both microwave and dishwasher safe. However, the Department for Keeping Your Crockery Safe advises that, owing to the risk of accidental breakage, it should not be left unattended (particularly upon ledges) in the vicinity of curious […]
- [Pick Four Coasters](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/four-coaster-set/): The Department for Beverage-Related Surface Incidents advises that one coaster is rarely sufficient. Four coasters will ensure that multiple beverages may be accommodated without unnecessary risk to tables, desks or any other surface upon which a beverage may reasonably be placed. Choose your preferred combination from the three designs: All Remains Broadly Under Control and Tiggy – Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour (Green), Tiggy – Chief Rat Catcher & Inspector of Human Behaviour (Colour) 4 ceramic coasters Cork backed Approx. 4 × 4 inches each State your selection in boxes provided Each coaster is designed & hand-printed to […]
- [The Office of Tiggy Tea Break Bundle - Colour or Green (Free UK Postage)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/the-office-of-tiggy-tea-break-bundle-free-uk-postage/): For important meetings, or simply putting the world to rights over a decent cup of tea, the Office of Tiggy Tea Break Bundle is what you need. Choose your Tea Break Bundle in either Standard Issue Green or Colour. Standard Issue Green 2 × Tiggy Standard Issue Green Mugs 1 × Tiggy Standard Issue Green Ceramic Coaster 1 × All Remains Broadly Under Control Ceramic Coaster Colour 2 × Tiggy Colour Mugs 1 × Tiggy Colour Ceramic Coaster 1 × All Remains Broadly Under Control Ceramic Coaster FREE UK delivery Each item is designed & hand-printed to order in Chester. 10% […]
- [The Office of Tiggy Pen (Standard Issue)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/the-office-of-tiggy-pen-standard-issue/): From signing important documents and completing official paperwork to doing a crossword or writing the shopping list, this pen ensures that even the most routine written tasks receive the appropriate level of administrative importance. Approx. 5.5 × 0.3 inches Black ink Lightweight design Each pen is designed & hand-printed to order in Chester. 10% of profits from all official merchandise sales will be donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073).
- [The Office of Tiggy Ceramic Coaster – All Remains Broadly Under Control](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/the-office-of-tiggy-ceramic-coaster-all-remains-broadly-under-control/): Keep this coaster to hand so that whatever chaos may be unfolding around you, you can be assured that All Remains Broadly Under Control. 4 × 4 inch Cork-backed Ceramic Each coaster is designed & hand-printed to order in Chester. 10% of profits from official Office of Tiggy merchandise are donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073).
- [Tiggy Ceramic Coaster (Standard Issue or Colour)](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/tiggy-ceramic-coaster-standard-issue/): Because every important decision begins with a decent cup of tea, and every decent cup of tea deserves a decent coaster. Choose from colour or green Tiggy. 4 × 4 inch Cork-backed Ceramic Each coaster is designed & hand-printed to order in Chester. 10% of profits from official Office of Tiggy merchandise are donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073).
- [Tiggy Keyring - Standard Issue or Colour](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/tiggy-keyring-standard-issue/): This lightweight keyring has a print of Tiggy on one side and ‘Tiggy, Chester Station Cat’ on the other…because even your keys deserve to see Tiggy. Metal Approx. 2 × 1.1 inches Available in two designs – Colour or Standard Issue Office Green Each keyring is designed & hand-printed to order in Chester. 10% of profits from official Office of Tiggy merchandise are donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073).
- [Tiggy Bookmark – Standard Issue or Colour](https://tiggythecat.co.uk/product/tiggy-bookmark-standard-issue/): Keep your place with this small but perfectly formed Tiggy Bookmark, complete with a rich green tassel.* Lightweight metal Approx. 4.7 × 1.3 inches Available in two designs – Colour or Standard Issue Office Green *NOTE: The Office accepts no responsibility for bookmark displacement resulting from unauthorised feline tassel titivation. Each bookmark is designed & hand-printed to order in Chester. 10% of profits from official Office of Tiggy merchandise are donated to Chester Kitty Cat Rescue (Registered Charity No. 1161073).

## Optional

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